Changes!

So I've been sick a while. So far the doctor doesn't know what it is and says that I seem fine. I honestly think a lot of it is allergies. Like I'm hoping it's not because of my dog. I started getting allergy-like symptoms around three months ago when I first had her. I hate this tickling sensation in my throat!

It could just be allergies and nothing to do with her because her hair is so short and I mean.....I've had two cats in here for like 2-3 years. You'd think if I was allergic to cats then I'd be allergic to dogs too. We do live in the country in Kentucky. There's a high pollen count in this state and A LOT of people develop allergies/sinus problems on the regular.

We live on ten acres of land and there's all kinds of weeds and wild flowers everywhere. It never used to bother me too much besides the occasional yearly flare up that would disappear with over the counter allergy medication. I just don't know why this shit is bothering me so much.

I got to where I couldn't breathe. I've had pleurisy before and honestly, that was one of the worst pains I've had in my life to date. Not being able to breathe is scary. Not being able to sleep or lay down because you can't fucking breathe is super frightening. I don't have pleurisy right now but I have been having breathing problems.

So I'm taking this opportunity to make some life changes. I'm overweight. My weight problems weren't an overnight thing. I put the weight on gradually by working at McDonald's and eating there off and on for nearly 7 years. My weight problems are my fault. I used to be a big stoner and would smoke and eat anything in sight whether I was hungry or not. People also don't think about just HOW MUCH fat there is in fast food.

Last year I stopped eating at work on my break and just brought my own lunch from home. I lost weight. It's tough for me to just starve myself or skip meals altogether now because I'm hypoglycemic. I can't just NOT eat. I can eat small snacks and stuff throughout the day and be okay.

I really shouldn't drink soda either but I've been doing it so long that my body actually gets ill when I stop drinking them. During the day at work, my body burns through sugar like lightning fast. I could eat before my shift and be almost faint sick by the time I get my break three hours later. Soda during that time helps keep my sugar at a decent level.

I have decided to change just how much soda I drink at home though. Before I would drink cola all day at work and then when I got home, I'd drink like two big Mountain Dew 20 ounces at night! That's way too much sugar and caffeine! No wonder I stayed up late then. I'm really trying to lower my caffeine intake as well.

I like coffee drinks and cola but I'm only going to limit my intake of those to in the day time when I need them most. When I'm home in the evening, I'm settling with juice, water, or tea. Sometimes maybe caffeine free Sprite or something if I haven't had a lot of sugar that day.

I mean, I like water. It doesn't bother me. It makes me too full too quick though sometimes. I really love chocolate milk as well. During the evenings though, we usually eat dinner earlier now around 5:30-6:00 pm. So an hour or so before bed, I have to eat something else or my sugar will drop too low before I can wake up in the morning and eat.

Now I've opted to start eating a bowl of cereal or something instead of a meal after dinner too. Before I would get high and just eat all kinds of fucking cookies and sweets late at night along with the Mountain Dew. Honestly, I just smoked too much, even this year. I'd gobble everything in sight. I'm not going to get into the depths of use of Marijuana because it's really my choice to use it and I wouldn't judge anyone else.

I know the effects and I'm not getting into any arguments with people. I've never really publicly admitted on this sight to using it but I really don't care what anyone wants to think of me about it. I don't abuse it or go out driving when I'm stoned out of my mind. It honestly helps me with my anxiety. I don't have to smoke it to be alright but it calms me down and I really do not wish to go blow cash on some damn therapist who could really give two shits less about helping me or my problems.

So I've been eating better this week, cutting back on my soda and caffeine intake and smoking less. I already feel better and I'm proud to announce I've lost two pounds! I'm pretty stoked. The medication the doctor gave me has been helping also and once my breathing issues get better, I'm going to start exercising more. I'm kind of inspired because once you feel like shit all the time physically and like your body is betraying you, you get this new found motivation to start living a healthier life.

I love my life even though I have problems sometimes but I want to be around for a lot longer. I want to be one of those go getter people who can just have loads of energy and really live their life while taking care of their bodies. So I'm not going to push myself too hard. If I slip and eat something I shouldn't one day, I won't beat myself up for it. A lot of people think that they are supposed to cut junk food, sweets and sodas out cold turkey and only eat diet food.

From personal experience, any and every time I've done that, I only set myself up for failure. If you are USE to eating stuff like that a lot and just stop suddenly, you will suffer. You will think about eating those things all the time and the fact that you're forbidding yourself to indulge in those things just drives you to want to have a total pig out fest! Moderation in where it's at.

Try to make better food choices over time instead of cutting out all the bad stuff right away. Instead of a candy bar one day, eat fruit or yogurt. Instead of a giant fatty cheeseburger, eat a salad or turkey and cheese sandwich. Hell, today I had a turkey and cheese sandwich with red onion and tomato, some cool ranch Doritos and a bit of Mountain Dew and ALL OF THAT WAS STILL LESS FATTENING than a Big Mac by itself. Seriously.

Small changes like that will add up over time. I didn't believe it before but I sure do now. Don't go into weight loss thinking, Well I'm depressed because I can no longer eat anything that tastes good. I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a diet with that mentality only to come out gaining more weight than I lost.

If you like to cook and you have a passion for food, you CAN find healthy things to eat that fucking taste great. Work with vegetables and spices. Opt for more fresh ingredients instead of frozen or processed foods. I'm not trying to preach to any of you out there. Eat what you want.

I'm talking to myself here and sharing my experiences. I'm overweight now and it fucking sucks! It's tough on my joints and feet. I know I can lose the weight. I'm just setting more realistic goals for myself now gradually instead of expecting the impossible right away and ending up in failure.