How to Realize You're Obsessed With the Subject of Sex.

-- This entry is so so random and scattered because of my state of mind. I think I took too much medicine because I feel really weird and out of it. --

--

My boyfriend is having guy time, so I forced myself to have some girl time and chat it up with the girlies about whatever they cared about. To be honest, my real life friends kind of...suck. They either do drugs (which I am so adamant about staying clear of, thanks -- almost two years sober within the next year) or they just have really horrible personalities (I'm talking always-makes-me-pay-for-stuff, trash-talks-about-me-in-front-of-others, etc) that I don't like to deal with for too long. That brings up the question of why I'm even still friends with them but WOW that is not what this blog was about.

* Long story short -- it's hard to switch friend groups in high school, so thank god I'm graduating in three days *

So I get on skype to talk with some of my friends, and this question comes up: What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

And everyone says, "Oh no, save Knox for last because I'm sure she's got some CrAzY tales to tell."

It's my turn, and as the attention now focuses on me, I realize with a silent horror that the craziest things I've done are either related to SEX or DRUGS. I've been trying so hard to get away from that image that I quietly just say "Eh heh heh... One time I walked to Mexico."

And they're like, "Nooo, Knox, give us the dirty!"

Then my friend says in this little tone, "Tell us again about how you gave your boyfriend a handjob in the car while your dad was driving!" (<< rumor)

Then another friend: "Or when you had sex in the forest!" (<< we were kissing, not having sex)

Then back to the first friend: "Wait--! Tell us about what happened at prom night? Were you and your man really getting busy in the bathroom?" (<< wasn't in the bathroom)

Wowowow. Is that all that I am? Does everyone think my entire life revolves around sex? My boyfriend pointed this out to me while we were watching the latest X-Men because I got this big ol' stupid grin on my face when Quicksilver was moving his hands really fast on the glass (if you've seen X-Men and didn't fall asleep, you know what scene I'm talking about). After the movie he was all mad when I was gushing about how cool Quicksilver is and he was like, "It's just because you're a pervert. I saw that smile on your face during the glass scene."

Come onnn. That scene was really hot and I am not obsessed with the subject of sex.

YES: sex is a really frequent topic in my life. YES: my friends come to me for sex advice and the how-to of 101 sex positions. YES: I might just be a walking, talking Cosmopolitan magazine.

But I refuse to believe that I'm obsessed.
...Not that obsessed.

Holy cow, maybe I am. And maybe I'm just ignoring it because in my mind obsession with sex = lack of maturity.

But I don't giggle hysterically when someone says penis. I don't give my friend a dirty look if she eats a banana. I only smiled all stupid during X-Men because it hit me like "DAMN HE'S GOT SOME FAST HANDS -- THAT WOULD FEEL REALLY NICE" and I was having a little crush on him ever since he came on screen anyway.

Actually, I think I need to chill some. I feel like that's just my personality though. And I'm totally going to push the blame and point fingers at my high school and my friends because I swear I was not this kind of girl five years ago.

...Yeah, I'm a bad liar. I think I need to go take a shower or something and maybe sort out my life choices. I'm almost an adult and graduating soon.