The Story of My Love Life Part 8

This would have been completed yesterday but my compter decided to shut down on me. For now on, I'm going to make these posts on my iPad.

The next time I spent the night at Johnny's place was after an India Arie concert. My dad asked me to go because my mom didn't want to go so I agreed to it. The Concert was much better than I thought it was going to be and the music was really good. As corny as it may seem, the whole time I was thinking about Johnny while at the concert. I thought of how nice it would be for him to be there. The crazy thing was that I was texting him earlier that day about it and he was explaining how he thought she was cool and he liked her music.

But the concert ended around 1:00 and I was dead tired. I wasn't in the mood for going home that night only to have to wake up five hours later to get to my 9:00 class the next day. So I asked Johnny if I could stay the night and he said it was okay. Luckily he was a night owl and was up late hours. I asked my dad and he agreed on it. I didnt even have to fight him. So I went to Johnny's house and tried to go right to sleep. There was no point in trying to sleep on the futon because it was no longer comfortable because it was broken. So slept in Johnny's bed with him. I was wearing nothing but my long sleeve shirt and underwear. I didn't sleep with a bra so that was off too. But because the bed Johnny had was a twin bed, we were basically on top of each other, or really close.

For a while we tried to sleep but sleep wouldn't cross either of us. I knew why I couldn't sleep but I ignored it. Soon enough it was around 2:00 and I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. We had tried laying in so many different positions but nothing work. At that point I couldn't deny the fact that we couldn't sleep because the sexual tension between us was too high, and I knew the only way it would cease was to have sex with him. The thought slightly annoyed me, but it was also nerve wrecking.

After some time of failed sleep, he started messing with me. I even joked like I was going to give him a lap dance but I couldn't. It didn't seem right because I looked at Johnny as a friend. Then again we tried to sleep but that was a lie. Soon enough he started touching me up in a way, then his hand went between my legs to mess with my vagina through my underwear. I tried to move his hand away but Im weak compared to him. Then I told him to stop because I didn't want him to mess with me if we weren't going to have sex. From that point on it was like he was battling whether he would have sex with me or not. So he was playing with me on and off which kind of pissed me off.

Eventually he said something to me regarding it. I can't remember all that he said, but I do remember him saying "...I'll have sex with you" I was so nervous about it, it wasn't funny. I just said okay and he let me feel his penis through his shorts. That was my first time feeling a penis. I kind of felt for length and thickness. And I touched his balls. They were softer than I thought balls would be. Then he stood up to go to the bathroom, and while he was in there I was just wondering if it was real life. But I took off my shirt while he was in the bathroom and sat there, nervous as ever. Then he sat next to me. He commented about my boobs being nice (since it was his first time seeing them nude) then he told me to sit on his lap. I did and he tongue kissed me (also my first kiss) and kissed my neck and boobs and fingered me. He was saying that I should do something back but I didn't know what to do. I attempted to kiss his neck but stopped because I just felt so weird about the whole situation. After a while he said to get up. He got up and took off his clothes, then put a condom on. He walked back up to me and pulled me to the edge of the bed. It was dark but I could slightly see his penis. It was bigger than I anticipated and it kind of scared me to see it, honestly, because I knew the size of my vagina. Two fingers in my vagina hurt and it was only about 4 inches deep. His penis looked abound 8 inches long and 2-2.5 inches in diameter. But It was too late to punk out at that point. When he first entered, he didn't pump because it hurt. I even said it did. But then he tried to pump and oh my goodness, it was so bad. It was like my vagina was rejecting his penis. It was way too tight and not a good feeling at all. He even tried pushing harder to get some kind of friction going on, but there was nothing. It was like my vagina opening was holding on to his penis and didn't let go. He couldn't even get all of it in. I only got about four inches in (as I presumed). Then this crazy dude wanted me to get on top. I'm thinking in my head, Hello, this is my first time! If felt a little better on top but I felt so weird about it. I couldnt even look at his face. My vagina felt sore already and I didnt want to be on top anymore. Eventually he just told me to stop. So then he told me to lay on my back on the bed. He got down in front of me and put my legs on his shoulder so he could finger me. Even that hurt. I didn't know it at the time, but it was because he was doing it too hard for my likings. That wasn't pleasurable either. I told him to stop and to just put his penis back in but he wouldn't. Then he stopped because I was bleeding on his finger. Thinking about it makes me feel so embarrassed. I think I was too tired at the time to be really embarssed.

After that we just stopped everything and he washed his hands. He suggested I wash myself but I didn't. I wasn't bleeding that much.

I slightly scarred him, though, hahahaha. I made a comment regarding us doing it next time and he was like "Next time?" as if it wasn't going to happen, but I knew it would, I just didn't say it. He didnt even face my back. I didn't feel bad about it, though. I was too tired to feel bad about anyting. But he was giving me a cold shoulder.

The next day things between us were so awkward. I thought about the situation almost all day, and it was like we avoided each other. He even looked at me different when we talked, like he was sorry or something. Usually when we would walk to my car for me to take him home, we would talk, but we couldn't even talk that day. I couldnt even look at him. I dont even think I stayed afterwards.

The crazy thing is that the next day my mom called me seven times in the morning. She wanted to know if I was okay. It was like she had a mother instinct when I lost my virginity.

The next day, though, things were a little better between us. It wasn't as awkward and we were able to talk to each other without the awkwardness. I hung out in his room too for a while. But I wasn't that comfortable with talking to him about sex yet. And I wasn't thinking that much about sex because I was kind of sore down there. And it was slightly bleeding for about a week. It wasn't enough to stain my underwear, but enough to see some blood when I wiped myself after using the bathroom.

But I've always known that I would be a freak and have a high sex drive, so it wasn't too long before we had sex again, this time more enjoyable.
June 28th, 2014 at 03:43am