I Didn't Mean to Like Him.

I need to get my thoughts in order, and I just - I can't figure this out.

Jordan.

Freaking Jordan.

Jordan, who I'd never hung out with until Wednesday and it was like everything clicked. We started talking about TV shows and movies and stupid jokes and it was the easiest thing ever. We argued for twenty minutes about whether or not killing in war is considered murder and that was the first time in a long time that I actually had someone to debate with.

But God, the stupid jokes. We'd literally just stand in the back of the stand and tell dumb jokes to make each other laugh. And his laugh is like, the greatest thing ever. It's big and it's loud and he squeezes his eyes shut and he just has this grin that lights up his whole face and I can't handle him.

And I'd catch him looking over at me a bunch throughout the week, but he'd look away every time and I have no idea but man, was it nice to have someone to actually talk to.

He's smart, too. Like, genius level smart. He's majoring in computer programming and we were talking code (his was actual programming, mine was coding websites) and movies and TV shows and bands and just everything and wow.

And here I am, terrified to message him this dumb joke that I thought of over Facebook because I don't want to be weird and seem awkward and I just - Ugh.

But I'm going to ignore that because he would find it absolutely hysterical and even if he doesn't respond, he'll at least laugh.

I don't like liking people, but he makes it really hard.