The Story of My Love Life Part 9

So once I got back to hanging out at Johnny's place again, things got a little more at ease regarding the whole sex thing. No, we didn't talk about it freely at that point, but we weren't awkward about it either. I even felt comfortable enough to ask him why he was so weird about it afterwards, and he said it was because he felt like he had taken my innocence away or something. Although that is semi heart touching, it wasn't like he forced himself on me. Honestly, I was surprised he never tried earlier.

One instance I remember was that one day while hanging at his house, he was clearly getting horny again because he was borderline (borderline is my way of describing a penis that isn't completely hard, but there was some blood flow going there) and I noticed him and probably teased him about it. I had teased him about it much more in the past, and I did at that time too. But I didn't pay it too much mind. But when it was time for me to go home, he was playing that "take you for hostage" game again, especially since he knew I had a curfew then. So he held on to me, trying to keep me from leaving. I was telling him seriously that I had to go, but he wasn't taking me serious. So I told him if he didn't stop I would mess with his penis or something like that. After I said that, it was like he was trying to keep me from doing that, but I got the advantage and managed to pull down his shorts and boxers at the same time exposing his penis. For me it was the first time seeing his penis in the light and it didn't look too bad. It turned me on a little, but I knew I had to get going.

He was surprised that I did that and I think he asked me why I did it or something, and I just said because he kept playing around until I left. Later on (in our life, I cant remember exactly when) he expressed that he was kind of mad that I did that and didn't do anything with his penis. Thinking about it is comical.

But we didn't have sex until about a week later on friday when we had to paint at an elementary school. Almost every friday we went to an elementary school to paint so we could get community service hours. In my mind I was planning on having sex with him but I didn't tell him. I came to his place early (as usual) and we took a semi nap or something like that. Through my body language I showed that I wanted to have sex with him but I didn't tell him, still. I still felt awkward about it. Luckily for me, he caught on.

This time the sex was a lot better because I didn't feel any pain. It started with him on top. We were on the busted up futon so it was a weird position. I wasn't feeling it too much, but a part of it was probably because I wasn't letting myself feel it. I still couldn't look him in the face when having sex. Eventually I just asked to be on top. At first he directed me because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Its kind of embarrassing to think about now. Even more embarrassing was that I had to have music on because I didn't like the sounds of sex. Facing forward it didn't feel that good because my vagina was too tight (because I wasn't warmed up enough, but I didn't know that then) so I decided to turn around and do the reverse cowgirl. To me that felt a lot better. Then he directed me to do a position I don't know the name of. I guess I'm going to call it the reverse frog. It made my legs tired as shit, but it felt really good. He came way before I expected because that day we were at the beach and driving to Jasmine's grandma's house, he swore up and down that he could last an hour. When I asked him about it, he said that he couldn't last an hour with me because my vagina was too tight. I guess that's a complement but I still wanted the fulfillment of an hour of sex (so I thought, then).

The times we had sex after that were almost always on a Friday and in the morning. So I could see everything. I still couldn't look at his face and our foreplay was subdued to just messing with our private parts. I don't know why the foreplay was so pathetic. On my behalf it was because I still felt uncomfortable about it. Either way, it was pathetic.

But although the foreplay got worse, the sex got better each time. We started trying different positions and such. But most of the time when I was on top, it was just reverse cowgirl because for one, it was hard for me to do anything different because my vagina was almost never warmed up enough to loosen some, and two, as usual, I still felt weird about the whole situation.

From the first day I was also counting the amount of times we had sex. The amount of times escalated faster than I previously thought it would. And things also got weird regarding me, him and the art department. We kept the whole friends with benefits thing a secret (some by his request on the first time we had sex) and I didn't want everyone to know. We kept our usual distance in the department, except for when we would have our occasional conversations. Even when we were in the same room, I never really sat next to him. It was like I had to think about not sitting near him. Not to show signs that anything other than us just being friends was going on. This wasn't because he said he wanted to keep it a secret, though. This was because I didn't want anyone to know either.

Of course I couldn't end the school year without someone knowing. I didn't really talk about my sex life to people without them asking, and even then I tried to be vague. But there was this one friend that I was kind of close with at the time named Ria (her nickname) and we were having a one-on-one discussion that day. Somehow we started talking about the day we lost our virginities. I don't even know how we started talking about it. I think it was because she had joked saying that she was a virgin, only to come back to say that she was joking. Then I think we started talking about our first times and I talked about mine. And because she's nosy, she wanted to know who was my first. I didn't tell her. I'm not sure if she asked that same day or a different day but she guessed Johnny because she thought it would be him because of the time we spent together. I was kind of upset, on the low, that she guessed it the first time. But I was sure that she wasn't going to tell anyone. And I think she was the only person to know that semester.

Well, that was until the second semester came around.
July 2nd, 2014 at 02:21am