My Mom Is Struggling...Sigh

I'm currently sitting on the couch with her.

She's pissed at my dad...again. He said something about Eminem earlier. Now, she's not a diehard fan of him or anything but, you know, we own the movie 8 Mile which is a semi-autobiography about his life...

Anyway, my dad said Eminem was never poor and he lived in the fucking suburbs. Now, I highly doubted that, but my mom is sitting here on her iPad looking it up on Wikipedia. I told her it's not the most reliable site and she found another and looked at me with a glare and said, "It says exactly the same thing." I just sighed and said nothing.

Then, this morning she was talking about how she had been thinking that she didn't like her job and she wanted to go to school to be a mortician. She is currently a CNA and before that she was a hairdresser for 10 years. Basically, going to school to be that would be a piece of cake to her because she is just that good at learning new things especially if she already has some experience.

Well, she went and talked to my dad about it and of course, he basically shot her down. Telling her she didn't need to go to school to be that and that she should keep her job she has now. EVEN THOUGH she has been talking a lot lately about how she hates her job, and wants to quit.

Now, she is sitting next to me saying how no one respects her. She says, "How would you feel if everyone around you didn't have any respect for you? Especially if the one person who should respect you the most...doesn't even care?" I know that she may be over exaggerating a bit because (1) she's on Topamax again and (2) she's just been pissed at my dad all day and says shit like this all the time. For some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to say, "I respect you mom." Because it just didn't feel right.

It didn't seem like the right thing to say at the time. It wasn't the thing she wanted to hear. So I said nothing and then went on here to vent about it. Now my dad is downstairs, in the basement away from all of us. He knows I always take my mom's side anyway, and I have my reasons for that that are very private so I won't go into detail why.

She has just been saying that my dad, "makes her feel like she should doubt everything that comes out of her mouth." I just have nothing to say about the matter...

Well, I do, but that would be overstepping my boundaries as the daughter instead of a friend, which is what she needs.

She's just not the "friend" type...

Alright I suppose I'm done...time to go watch Bonnie & Clyde... :)

xx