Am I Mad?

I've begun discussing my crumbling mental state in a previous blog, and this is the 'second installment' of my disturbing saga.

I've let you in on the dark of my young life, but lately, that's all there seems to be.

An overwhelming, deep madness awaits me; this I know to be true. I hear the whispers, I see their ghostly owners, I feel the touch of the damned.

Is this where my descent begins?

I find myself writing this now during another sleepless night, and I know I'll not be getting to sleep soon, though my body will feel heavy and tired. My mind will race with so many thoughts and emotions that I cannot tune them out enough to sleep.

In sight of emotions, it seems as though I have none anymore. I feel naught, save for sorrow. The deep, settle in your bones and make them ache sorrow; the kind that makes you heavy of heart and lifeless of soul.

Nothing combats it now. Nothing at all. Not pain, not nicotine, not scorn and rage fueled songs of heartbreak and hate.

Nothing. Nothing helps, and I feel I cannot bear it anymore.