"Your Hopes Must Be Bigger Than Your Dreams."

I’ve never been one to take the easy route or to give up on things, I’ve never gotten anything handed to me in life and I’ve learned that if I truly want something in life – I, somehow, always find a way achieve exactly what I want.

I struggled my way through home schooling. Even on the days where I contemplated jumping in the cold seawater on my way to the train station, just so I wouldn’t make it to my exams… on the nights that I cried because of things they told me during exams… the weeks that I felt like shit over stupid remarks like ‘did you even study?’ or ‘well… come to think of it, we could’ve let you pass the exam’.

When those struggles became too much for me to handle I decided to balance it out with even more struggles and as I finished high school with home schooling, I also started my first year in college – because it’s not supposed to be easy.

Life has never been easy, but at least those who dare to dream and hope and fight for what they want get somewhere in life.

I finished my second year of college without any bumps in the road. I passed all of my exams and did amazingly well, too. But I hardly put any time into studying because school had me demotivated all year… it wasn’t challenging to do something when I didn’t have more struggles to balance it all out. The only reason I got up every day to go to school is because I always figured: “This is the only way I can possibly get an internship in London, next year. This is the stepping stone to my dreams.

And, yes, it is. Because I’m one step closer to sending in a motivational letter to a record label I would love to intern with, thanks to that school. But then my teacher sent me another management, promotions and bookings agency also looking for interns – starting next month.

So I emailed him… asking if maybe I could do both. Not whether or not he thinks it’s the right thing to do, just if it’s possible… but he answers me that: ”Starting an internship next month and combining it with your studies will be very hard. You should just focus on London and maybe use this as a back-up plan to start later on, not in august.”

But that’s not what I was asking? I didn’t ask for the easy way out! So why are people forcing me in this position?

I decided that I’m not just going to give up on this dream of doing two internships in one year… I’ve decided that it’s time for me to stand up for myself and fight for what I want… and if I don’t get the internship in the end, then that’s that… but if I never fight for it, I’ll never forgive myself either.

I’ve always believed that your hopes must be bigger than my dreams… and I refuse to let anyone crush my hopes, ever again.
July 9th, 2014 at 02:05pm