Women Against Feminism

I feel a little vicious posting this (and I feel like I only use my blog on here for feminist rants), but quite frankly, the 'Women Against Feminism' movement is something I find frustrating and upsetting. The more I think about it, the more it grates on me, and I don't want to resort to petty name calling because it really solves nothing.

I think the reason that feminism has been given such a bad rep, and why this anti-feminism movement has been building so quickly, is largely due to misinformation and lack of proper education. Because really, unless you're directly involved in the movement, the most exposure we are likely to get to feminism is the people shouting the loudest (and probably most obnoxiously).

I get that some people don't want to be represented by angry, penis-hating women pointing out rape in every situation, I really do. But what a lot of people seem to have missed is that THIS IS NOT WHAT FEMINISM IS.

Feminism, literally is about equality of the sexes. It is not about women having power over men. It is not about trying to paint men as sex-crazed rapists, and inherently bad. It is not about casting ourselves as the victims. And it is certainly not about creating a larger divide between men and women.

In a moment of sibling bonding, one of my younger brothers once told me that if any guy tried to hurt me he'd take care of them for me. It seemed a nice sentiment at the time but it rattled me that he felt it necessary to say something like that because a) I'm quite capable of taking care of myself and b) I should not have to ever be in a situation where I'm at risk from a man. Shouldn't being the operative word here.

I shouldn't have to look over my shoulder constantly when I walk home at night. I shouldn't but I do.

I shouldn't feel unsafe when groups of men (or even just one) talk to me on the street. I shouldn't but I do.

I shouldn't feel vulnerable when people whistle at me or yell things at me when in public. I shouldn't but I do.

I love my younger brothers, and I'm genuinely proud of the men they've both grown into. I know that they respect women as equals and would NEVER harm a woman. I also know that my male friends and most of the men I know are exactly the same. But the simple fact is that there are still men out there who feel entitled to treat women as objects. As a woman this is, quite frankly, terrifying.

Several years ago, a close friend of mine had her drink spiked while at a club, and the 'friend' that happened to find her in such a vulnerable state, who she trusted, took her home and then took advantage of her sexually, even though she was in a relationship, a fact that he knew. "Yes," you might argue "but she should have been more careful with her drink."
Sure, that's true. There are simple ways to avoid drink spiking, but then again, why should she have to worry about creeps trying to take advantage of her? If someone had stolen her handbag would that be her fault too?

We shouldn't have to worry about date-rape when we go on a night out. We shouldn't but we do.

This, to me, is not equal. In fact, it is pretty much as far from equal as you can get. I hate to think of myself as a victim, because I'm independent and capable and proud just like many women. But I'm not too proud to admit that fear of rape is legitimately something that concerns me, particularly at the moment because I'm currently traveling alone in a male-oriented society.

I need feminism, as does every woman and every man, for this reason (and hundreds of others that I don't want it get into because I will be here for ages). And I will continue to need feminism until ALL the inequalities between the sexes are addressed, in every society.