My Thing

There is exactly 17 days left until school starts. I will be a sophomore, two years until I'm a senior. Two years until I'm booted out of my comfy room, out of the house I have embedded myself in to, and into the un charted territory of adulthood. Two years ago I wouldn't have been worried about this because I would of said that I was going to college, with an implied "duh". But after barley making out of my freshman year with passing grades (except for algebra witch I will be retaking), I'm not to sure anymore.
As a kid whenever I was asked if I was going to college I would always say yes, or else suffer a glare from my mother. There was never any question. It never seemed like a far away goal, but something that was just going to happen. But when you get that report card, the one with the "F" on it that seems like it's in bold print even though its not, you have doubts. The closer the time comes the farther away it seems. Until the day you're crushed with the reality that your going to be an adult.
I'm going to have to do all these things that have never been taught in school. Like taxes. Why was I never taught how to do taxes? Or pay bills. Or get insurance. Or how to do all the things I watched my parents do.
I get a lot of disapproving looks when I tell people that I simply don't know if I'm going to college. And I don't know what I would go to college for.
I had once wanted to go for writing, but what would I write about?
No matter how much I try I've never been able to do any type of art, so art school is out.
And anything having to do with math is out of the question.
I have never found anything that I am good at, or that I enjoy. I've never found my thing. And I know that everyone has a thing. But what if I run out of time to find my thing? Or simply don't have what I need to find my thing? What if I find my thing but can't get into a college to study it? What could be worse than having a thing and never being able to use it?