8 Celebrities Who Are Secretly Ninjas

ce·leb·ri·ty (noun) a famous person.

nin·ja (noun) a person skilled in ninjutsu.

ce·leb·ri·ty nin·ja (noun) a badass famous person who occasionally wears tights.

It is time. It is time I finally outed all of the celebrities who are secretly ninjas. After reading countless gossip magazines and watching every episode of Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show, I feel I am the only person with complete knowledge of celebrity ninjas and I need to share this knowledge with everyone before they come and take me out.

Tom Hiddleston

Tom Hiddleston is basically the face of the celebrity ninjas. He is the go-to guy for all of the celebrity ninja interviews and he is the one they all count on when they need a cover up story. He's not even really from England.

Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis is an obvious choice for a celebrity ninja army. She knows like twenty different languages and she can throw a wicked punch. There is no way she is not a ninja.

Emma Stone

If you guessed Emma Stone was a ninja, you were right. There's a reason she rocks every lead she's in, and it's because she's a ninja.

Jonah Hill

I know what you're thinking... Jonah Hill? Yes, Jonah Hill. Think about it. How did he lose all that weight so quickly? How is he always managing to sneak into my bedroom late at night without getting caught? Exactly.

Melissa McCarthy

If you didn't think Melissa McCarthy was a ninja, you clearly don't know her.
Matt Smith

Yes, Matt Smith is a freaking ninja. The Doctor was just a facade to hide the fact that he's really just one kick ass mofo. And that hair? It must be a ninja's.

Jennifer Lawrence

There was no way Jennifer Lawrence wasn't going to be on this list. She is one kick ass female who really can do it all. Hunger Games? Nailed it. Silver Linings Playbook? Nailed it. American Gangster? Nailed it. Being a fucking ninja? Nailed it again.

Oprah Winfrey is the leader of all of the celebrity ninjas. She is the top dog. She is the one who sends out the orders for all of the other celebrity ninjas. She is the master.
August 5th, 2014 at 11:29pm