Ignore.

I just want to feel loved again. Everyone's indifferent to me when I'm here. It's like out of sight out of mind. There's nothing there anymore and he doesn't care.

This is why I hate being at my mom's. All of my friends suddenly disappear and talk to me whenever they feel like it or when they have a problem. Alex treats me like he doesn't care. He says he's trying but I don't think he is. He works all day and then goes straight to MMA; he's got time to talk to me, he just chooses not to. I get 20 minutes a day, if that. If I try to be fun and and happy, he doesn't care at all. He's indifferent to it and acts like it's not a big deal that I'm actually attempting to be happy. It's fucking hard being here. It's hard being away from him and he doesn't act like it at all.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm sick of feeling put away until someone has a problem or someone is in a good enough mood to talk to me. I just want to be 18 and away from that stupid town so I can actually do something with my life and make friends that care about me. Meet people who won't do this to me.
I hate crying. I hate sliding down into the shower and bawling for only a couple minutes because mom might come home any second and I'll have to act like nothing is wrong anymore.
It's all wrong. I want to hug my dad and I want to cry cuddling my cat with the music up in my own room without anyone fucking bothering me.

I'm just done.