Definition

Hi my name is Hannah. I’m more than a name but I guess that’s what it comes down to. Isn’t it strange that the fundamentals of your personality are given to you by someone else? Your name defines you. It’s how people know you. I hate my name sometimes. Sometimes I want to be someone else. I don’t want to be the 21 year old who got married when she was 18. The childhood romance. Another way to define.

I never defined myself. Then suddenly I was given a definition. A name. Like you’re given as a baby. Another person defining who I was. Now I’m the girl with the husband. He defines me. But I still don’t know me. How are you meant to find yourself when you’re so busy keeping every else alive? I’m so scared to lose someone that I spend my whole life treading water. Keeping myself going only to save others. To be that good person. You know what? I’m fed up of being the good person. You lose who you are. You lose your definition. But I never had one in the first place. I guess you can’t loose what you never had.