I'm not sure why I'm posting this, honestly, just to kinda, like... get it off my chest, I suppose? Like... I don't want sympathy or anything, but I hate writing things down to just, like, delete them or something. I would just talk to Rian about it, but she has her own problems and I don't want to actually involve anyone if they're not interested in hearing me cry.
Anyway, my grammy has a cat named Kitty (because we're all super original with our names) and, basically, her health's going downhill pretty damn fast.
Kitty's about nine or so years old now, and she was taken in as a stray from off the streets in... 2009, I wanna say. At first, my grammy wanted nothing to do with a cat. She was a fish person and she liked fish and that was that. Well, after about a month of more or less fostering her while my mum looked for a more permanent home, she kind of fell in love with the cat and so she's been living with her and my grandpa ever since.
Recently, she's slowed with her eating. At first it wasn't too noticeable or anything, but then she couldn't eat anything with fish in it at all or she'd get sick and refuse to eat it. So my grammy went out and bought food that had absolutely zero fish products, going so far as to read the tiny print on the labels. Soon enough, she couldn't eat chicken without having the same reaction that she did with fish. After that, she moved onto kitten food with no chicken or fish.
Kitty didn't even bother with it, instead pushing it onto the floor (because her food and water bowls are up on a small table) and then looking at my grammy with an "Are you serious?" expression. Which is something she definitely has.
She was taken to the vet about a week or two ago when even water was making her throw up, and it was decided there that she had a stomach tumor. Yesterday she went to get an ultrasound where it was determined that, no, she didn't. She was given a lot of fluids, antibiotics, and nausea medicine. Apparently she was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and then I was given the explanation that her blood was all fat and therefore there was a problem with her liver and if she didn't "start eating by tomorrow" (which is now technically today), they'd have to put a feeding tube in. Not too sure what happened with that, really, because I saw her a little while ago and there were no tubes or anything.
Well, she still hasn't started eating, and now the vets are saying that there isn't anything else that they can do.
The death of animals always hits me especially hard, no matter how well I know them. For my grammy, she's always the one who hugs me and tells me that it was just their time and that they're in a better place; I have to move on. Now, though, she's been crying more than I have. Which just makes it all that much worse.
We've actually known Kitty since she was a literal kitten, but at that time she had a home and was more just an outdoor cat. She was only taken in when she was because it was after a hurricane and it didn't look like she had anywhere to go. No one tried looking for her, at least.
This cat means more to me than any other animal I've known to date. She, for whatever reason, likes me more than she likes other people. She lays with me on the bed or couch and sits with me in chairs and she lets me carry her around while she more or less ignores everyone else.
I know that maybe it'll be better if she does go, but I'm selfish and really want her to stay, even if it's just a little longer. I know that (if there is one) she'll go to kitty heaven and she'll be able to eat all the chicken and fish she wants, and she'll always have her favorite fuzzy blankets (the kind that her and I cuddle in), and I know there'll be lots of sunshine for her to lay under.
But she has all that here right now, and it's not fair that some cats live to be nearly twenty and she's only half that age.
I don't know, maybe I'm just being stupid. Anyway, she was just given some pain medicine and tuna juice, and I've been told that she's "just laying there but doesn't seem to be in any pain," so we'll just have to wait and see how that plays out.
Hopefully there'll be more nights where I get up for all of ten seconds and return to her making herself at home in front of my laptop even though it's a king-sized bed and she could lay literally anywhere else.
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