Survey, again!

1. Someone sends and anonymous letter claiming to have nude pictures of you. They demand money or a public display will be made. Do you pay?

No. I would see if they would dare to post it oline, and if they did, I would track them down and whoop their asses.

2. Have you ever wished you were a member of the opposite sex?

Yes.

3. You are a senior in high school. A very attractive teacher asks you for sexual favors in return for an “A”. Do you report to the principal’s office, or to the teacher’s office?

I don't report anywhere, I would smack my ass and tell him "you wish".

4. You are at a party when someone exclaims, “I hate homos, don’t you?” You are a closeted gay. What do you say?

"Nah, not really. I like girls a lot."

5. Are you turned on by “kinky” underwear?

And by kinky underwear you mean?

6. Have you ever “cat-called” an attractive person?

Nah, just undressing them with my eyes.

7. You are falling in love with someone who has very strict morals about premarital sex. Will you admit to your lover that you are not a virgin?

No, because then I would be fucking lying. But if I wasn't a virgin then yes I would.

8. A casual friend in high school becomes a major celebrity. Do you make contact?

Don't think so. Don't want to seem greedy.

9. Would you tan nude in a tanning booth?

Yeah, as long as I have panties on.

10. Would you take the beautiful class “slut” to a public dance?

Guess so?

11. Your sister is a real loser. She is thrown in jail. Do you bail her out?

Of course!

12. You have a chance almost risk free to make $30,000 is a drug deal. You don’t have to be personally involved. All you have to do is make your home available for one weekend. What’s your answer?

"Hand me the money and we have a deal."

13. You find your child’s private diary. You didn’t even know there was one. So you open it to read “just one page”?

I'm a very curious person but guilt would eat me alive if I did, so no, I wouldn't.

14. Your thirteen-year-old son wants to pierce one ear. “That’s the style,” he says. What do you say?

"Sure."

15. Your fifteen-year-old son wants to date a thirty-two-year-old woman. What do you say?

"Do whatever you want efter you've turned 18."

16. Your sixteen-year-old daughter wants to date a forty-five-year-old man. What do you say?

"Honey, that would make your boyfriend a paedophile."

17. Did you ever sample your parent’s liquor cabinet as a child?

Nope.

18. You find a “Playgirl” magazine in your daughter’s room. Do you bring up the subject?

No.

19. Your spouse admits to you that he / she is gay. What do you say?

"Why the fuck are you with me then?"

20. Are you self-conscious about going to the bathroom when someone might hear you?

Kinda.

21. You are asked to pose nude for a prominent national magazine. The pay is $10,000 for a few days’ work. Do you take the job?

Depends on if I get to wear at least panties?

22. Have you ever gone to work without wearing underwear?

No, because I don't have a job!

23. Should a woman’s job be guaranteed if she takes a leave of absence from work because of pregnancy?

Maybe

24. Your next door neighbor will be out of town for two weeks and asks if you would collect his mail while he’s gone. On the second day, you find some pornographic material in his mail. Do you look at it?

No, because rude to read other people's mail.

25. A strange man comes to your door. You are alone. He is in a panic. He claims to be with the CIA and he needs to make a phone call that is a matter of life and death. Do you let him in?

No. He could be an axe murderer for all I know.

26. You are stranded on a desert island with your spouse and your mother. Malaria sets in and only one shot of serum is available. Who takes the shot?

Fuck you. I ain't choosing between my spouse and my mother.

27. You are visiting your grandmother who lives alone. You are very surprised when you stumble across a stack of porno magazines in the house. Do you mention it to her?

No. Awkward, duh.

28. You are offered $1,000 to be in a porno film. Your face will not be seen. Do you do it?

No.

29. You find a used condom in the back seat of your son’s car. Do you confront him?

I would tell him to clean his fucking car.

30. You find a used condom in the back seat of your daughter’s car. Do you confront her?

I would tell her to tell her boyfriend to clean up after them.

31. For $1,000,000 — would you make love to a little green midget who has a wart on its nose?

Wtaf.

32. The fifteen-year-old daughter or son of a friend comes on to you. Do you inform the parent?

Yes.

33. You know the best restaurant in town is owned by the mafia. Do you eat there anyway?

Why wouldn't I?

34. Would you date someone of a different race?

Yes?

35. Have you ever paid for sex?

No, because I'm a virgin.

36. Male: Would you date a woman nine inches taller than you?
Female: Would you date a man nine inches shorter than you?

No. I couldn't do that.

37. Should sex education be taught in schools?

Yeah, I think so, even it's a very boring subject.

38. You are female. Your best friend is temporarily living with you while awaiting her divorce. One evening at dinner she confides in you that her marriage fell through because she is in love with you. What do you do?

I tell her that I don't have that kind of feelings for her.

39. Your fifteen-year-old daughter asks if she can go on the pill. What do you say?

I would ask why.

40. Your lover is a very bad kisser. Do you tell them?

No, because I ain't loving anyone who can't kiss me properly.

41. You are going to a party with buddies at a great vacation spot just across the state border. It is illegal to transport beer and wine across the border. Do you take it anyway?

No, I don't wanna go to jail!

42. Do you think gay couple should be able to adopt children?

Of course

43. You’re at a party and your date joins in a round of cocaine. Everyone at the party is doing it. What do you do?

I ain't doing any cocaine.

44. You are at the beach with a woman friend. When she comes out of the water, you can see through her bathing suit. Do you tell her?

Yes.

45. Do you think single adults should be able to adopt children?

Of course.

46. Should a marital relationship be monogamous?

To be honest I don't even know what it means.

47. Do you prefer seeing a general doctor of the same sex?

Yeah, I think I do.

48. Would you be romantically involved with someone who is disabled?

If I'm in love with the person I don't think it really matters if he is disabled.

49. Have you ever considered suicide?

Yes, I have.

50. You are a female working late in a large office building. When the elevator comes for you to leave, the door opens to reveal three male punk rockers. Do you get in?

I don't know. I feel very uncomfortable in elevators alone with people I don't know, so probably no.

51. You own a small private plane. A fairly close friend asks you to pick up and deliver a large load of marijuana for $20,000 cash. Do you make the deal?

Np, I'm not one of the actors in "We're The Millers". Except that they take an RV instead of a plane.

52. Have you ever had an “immoral” thought while sitting in church?

I don't go to church.

53. Have you ever intentionally stood someone up?

Nope

54. A stranger tells you that he’s defecting from Russia and asks for your help. Do you help him?

Uh, no.

55. Your parents ask you if you smoke marijuana. You do. Do you tell them?

Of course I don't. I don't wanna get in trouble, do I?

56. Your husband’s boss and wife are expected for dinner in thirty minutes. The dog licks the pot roast. Do you announce the mishap and go out to dinner or serve the roast as planned?

I think I would serve it, actually.

57. You are late for work due to a morning of making love (read, being rammed hard). How do your explain your tardiness to your boss.

"Something came up."

58. Would you date someone with a strange first name, like Ismarelda or Poindexter?”

Probably, if I was in love with the person or something.

59. Do you believe extraterrestrial beings have visited Earth?

Yes, since there's a very slim chance that we are alone in the universe.

60. You find an unfamiliar phone number in your spouse’s coat pocket. Do you inquire about it?

Of course I do.

61. Your spouse asks you to do a strip tease for his or her best friend. Do you?

No!

62. Have you ever made love in a car?

I'm still a virgin.

63. Your present roommate is also your ex-lover. He claims to love you but the feeling is not mutual. Will you lead him on, or set the record straight? P.S. He is paying for most of the rent.

Lead him on, probably.

64. You have a hot date and yet nothing happens. All your friends are ribbing you to find out all the “great details”. Do you tell the truth or make up a story about how wonderful it was?

I would probably tell the truth.

So this was ... nothing special. Just took a very long time to do.