Update on Life

Things in my life haven't been going so well lately. I've been missing my father more than anything, I've lost a lot of friends, I broke up with my boyfriend, and my aunt's health is fading. I'm losing everything I love.

I have terrible anxiety that's getting worse by the day. I'm afraid to leave my apartment, I just stay inside writing or crying. My life has become so closed and pathetic. I write just to escape for a bit, and even then I write sad and depressing crap.

I honestly don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'm 21, but I feel like I'm 15 years old again, like I'm losing my father all over again. The image of his suicide is forcing it's way back into my head. I hate to bring this up to my mom, she hadn't recovered from it until less than a year ago. The thing I think about would probably kill her; I already hurt her before with this mess with my ex, I can't bring her down again.

I don't know, I just needed to vent. You all know how afraid of social networks I am, even with my ex in jail.