Sadness

So a little over a year ago I lost one of my friends in a car accident. Him and his friends were on their way home from a concert when a tire on the car blew.
I suppose maybe I'm having some issues with writers block because I've had him on my mind a lot lately.
It's an indescribable feeling to miss someone you have no way of seeing again. Or talking to. I've decided I'm in the denial stage of grief now. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my phone and think 'what would happen if I just dialed his number?' Or all I want is for him to come over and hang out, to just sit on the couch and watch a movie with me.
It's times like these when I feel like the whole world has kept going and everyone else has moved on but me.
I guess it's affecting me so much now because I'm coming to terms with the fact that I may have let the best guy I've met slip past me all because I felt he was too young to be more than friends.
And now I will never know.