Possibilities for My Future...

Here in the town I am living in I am currently alone. My mom is God knows where and my brothers are like 40 miles away. I'm alone here and I can feel my self rotting from the very pit of my soul.

I literally feel like I am dying here like I'm suffocating on the fact my life ha amounted to absolutely NOTHING. I'm afraid I may actually die from this. I am so fucking lonely where I am I feel like I could die sometimes. I'm all alone here.

My mom knows this. She knows how alone I feel and how I literally have no one where I am. How I really need someone to come home to.

So when I was talking to her the other day she told me she had an idea for me

1) Move to Pooler and get an apartment and a roommate. Even though she was hesitant for me to get a roommate where I am now because there is no saying if the person I live with will care about me at all. Not having someone is what got me like this to begin with.

Getting a roommate would help with the rent. My mom says this is about saving my life.

My second option is move to McMinnville ,Oregon to live with my mom's family.

In Oregon I would have Aunts, cousins, an uncle and my grandma. I haven't seen any of these people in like 10 years. But when I talked to my Aunt Billie the other day she was telling me about how I could get medical insurance, food stamps that there are jobs there and family in close distance.

I feel like it would be a bad idea to move to Oregon with out having gone to visit.

So I ask you guys what do you think I should do?

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Songs that describe me

Guinevere - Eli Young Band
The Lonely - Christina Perri
Human - Christina Perri