The Contents of My Purse

The amount of things you'll find in my purse is absolutely insane. It may be a small purse, but that doesn't stop me from putting anything and everything in there.

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I feel like 'The Nutcase' aka Allison Reynolds aka Ally Sheedy.

1. There may or may not be a pink stun gun in there.
2. I definitely have mace in there.
3. And a box knife.
4. Multiple receipts.
5. X amount of change. (Three doll hairs and two cents to be exact)
6. Two Starbucks cards.
7. Old hotel key cars.
8. Baggy of Ibuprofen.
9. Personals.
10. Three pens.
11. Three bags of bands for my braces. (Which I despise with every fiber of my being)
12. Altoid mints.
13. Wax for my braces.
14. Toothbrush.

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This is literally how I feel when I switch purses.

15. Toothpaste.
16. Socks.
17. X amount of bobbypins.
18. Wallet.
19. Phone charger.
20. Sunglasses. (Which were on my head when this was made)
21. Walmart gift card.
22. Two things of Chapstick.
23. Extra blades for my box knife.
24. Tweezers.
25. Fingernail clippers.
26. Straw wrapper.
27. Rolaids.

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Anything that gets put into my purse, at one point or another, disappears much like Homer Simpson does into the bushes... because my purse, much like every other woman's purse, is a black hole. If a lady tells you she doesn't have a messy purse, then she's probably lying to you. Our purses are worse then teenage boys rooms. Trust me. We're surprised there aren't animals living in our purses.

Don't except anything back that you do put into our purses. Especially important stuff.
September 10th, 2014 at 03:14am