I just realized that it seems like people who focus things to the extent of them becoming literal obsessions don't seem to actually love the things they obsess over.
This seems very clear to most people when it comes to relationships - like, if you're an obsessive, possessive person over someone else it's not because you love them but because you're an insecure, codependent person. But I think this is true even when it comes to less personal obsessions.
For example, a lot of the people I've known who were the most devoted fans of certain bands, now not only don't listen to those bands anymore but seem almost embarrassed of them. And I think that that's because they never really liked the bands in the first place, but just wanted something or other to obsess over and something about the band appealed to them at that time. But now that they have grown out of it, they seem to have lost any awareness of why they liked the group in the first place.
I started thinking about this because this girl on Tumblr is admittedly very obsessed with a member of Pink Floyd. Now, they have been my favorite band ever since I was 11 or 12 years old, and I've always been attracted to every member of the band. I would have said I was obsessed at some point, but I wasn't so obsessed that I viewed the band as something bigger or better than myself, if that makes sense. I saw them as an inspiration rather than a god, I guess. But this girl on Tumblr, it's like her whole fucking identity is to be the worshiper of this band member. Her icon is always a drawing someone's done of her and this guy together, her url has to do with him, even her theme has to do with him and he's all she talks about. And I was just thinking that she probably won't even like Pink Floyd in 5 years and will look back at this time as her "embarrassing Pink Floyd phase" or something.
That's fine and all, I don't care, but it just kind of bothers me when people use other people or art or anything as some kind of plug for a void that they have instead of appreciating them for what they truly are. I mean, I know those people are probably hurting inside in one way or another but they should find a better way of coping with it.
And, as usual, I care about music and art and shit too much. But I guess that's what I'm somehow meant to do because it's so natural for me.
Anyway, now I'm going to do the iPod shuffle thing that gatesguardian. posted.
What are the first 15 songs that play on shuffle?
1. Only Shallow by My Bloody Valentine
2. Town Called Malice by The Jam
3. This Time Tomorrow by The Kinks
4. Annalisa by Public Image Ltd.
5. Fell in Love With a Girl by The White Stripes
6. Romeo's Distress by Christian Death
7. Drugs by Lil Kim
8. I Wanna Be Adored by The Stone Roses
9. Deathwish by Christian Death
10. I Love You by Black Flag
11. White Light/White Heat by The Velvet Underground
12. Sugar by Bikini Kill
13. Whores by Jane's Addiction
14. Dreams by The Cranberries
15. Ripe by Babes in Toyland
Why do you like the first song?
It's so different from any other song I've heard and the guitar sounds like someone is punching you in a very sexy way or something. Yet the singing is so soft and beautiful, of course coming from Bilinda Butcher. It's a truly unique and exciting song and I just really love it.
Who does the second song remind you of?
Carrie Brownstein, putting on makeup, collared shirts. Also it sounds fun but not in a generic way.
Name your favorite lyric from the third song.
The lyrics to this song are genuinely beautiful and I love this part:
I don't where I'm going, I don't want to see
I feel the world below me looking up at me
Leave the sun behind me, and watch the clouds as they sadly pass me by
And I'm in perpetual motion and the world below doesn't matter much to me
Do you have any special memories attached to the fourth song?
There's a few things I remember having to do with it. I told one of my old friends who was obsessed with Johnny Rotten that it was my favorite PiL song and she said it was hers too, I showed it to my dad because he'd never listened to them, and a couple other things probably.
Do you relate personally to the fifth song?
I remember listening to it when I was about 12 and thinking that the lyrics "the two sides of my brain need to have a meeting" profoundly explained my situation.
Does/would your grandmother listen to the sixth song?
It's by a band called Christian Death so I'd say no even though I think she's a closet atheist... but maybe since it features the n word which she seems to enjoy.
What did you think when you first heard the seventh song?
"Wow this beat is fucking awesome."
What color does the eighth song remind you of?
Light blue, purple and pink with a streak of red in the middle.
What is the ninth song about?
I love the lyrics to this song. In fact my friend and I wrote them on her walls with a black marker once. But to me, I think that it's about someone who was innocent but lost and perhaps depressed, who delved naively into the dangers of drugs or misery itself or any general kind of darkness. And it's also about how people will continue to delve back into this even after they know the dangers of it.
Does the tenth song get stuck in your head easily?
Yes!
Would you play the eleventh song for a toddler and not feel guilty?
Definitely! In fact I think most toddlers would like it.
Is the singer of the twelfth song hot?
Yes, Kathleen Hanna is incredibly beautiful and sexy.
What part of your life does the thirteenth song best describe?
The part that's talking about how "whores never judge you" would describe how I'm the kind of person who'd actually prefer talking to people who are not as 'conventionally sophisticated' or whatever because usually they are just as smart (if not more), but they're less judgmental. Then the part about not wanting to live the boss's dream and taking your chances if you get them... that describes my general attitude toward life. I think you should live for yourself and take every chance you get to succeed for yourself on your own terms.
Does the fourteenth song have a cool music video?
Actually, yes. I think. I've only seen parts of it.
How old is the fifteenth song?
It came out in 1990.
Which of these is your favorite?
Possibly Romeo's Distress over all but I love all of them a lot.
Your least favorite?
Probably Town Called Malice.
Have any of these made you cry?
Yes, Dreams mainly. That song is just so sad to me and I always have to hold back tears. No idea why.
Now it's time for me to sleep. Goodnight.
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