Broken

August 17th 2014, at alil after 12am I got a call from my boyfriend. He told me that we only make each other miserable and that we have nothing in common. He told me that he tried but can't love me as much as I loved him.

So he broke up with me. I talked to him for over an hour trying to change his mind, but it was made up. After 3 anxiety attacks in that hour, I said ok.

We spent almost 4 years together and he ended it right before our 4 year anniversary. It would've been September 2nd. I gave my body, mind, heart and soul to him, and found out he stopped loving me since June. And for months lied to me instead of telling me how he really felt, and what he was really thinking.

I feel so stupid for not seeing it. For not seeing he was unhappy with me.

But it hurts so much, the feeling of being lonely and unwanted.

I get it. We made it thru high school together, but it doesn't hurt any less to think about the good memories. As much as I hate the bad and get so mad, nothing with change. It's over, and time to move on.

My family never really liked him, never thought we were a good match, and think I'm better off just moving on and maybe they're right.

Only problem, I can't move on. I am stuck on him and stuck feeling like I am lost.

I am 18 so I know I have my whole life ahead of me. I started a new job and changed my look and diet and am starting to feel better about myself, but there are things, little things that make me miss him, whether it's his scent or something I see like his fave classic car.

If anyone has any ideas or is willing to talk and help me take my mind off of things, I'd really appreciate it. Without him I just feel broken and don't know where to start to feel whole again.