Stressed

Can I just vent for a bit?

For a couple weeks there I was waking up incredibly happy every day. I'd wake up around 8am and get right out of bed because I couldn't wait to face the day.

Then we had a rough paycheck, and everything just kind of crashed.

Last paycheck, my husband and I had both missed a lot of work due to being sick and his company being slow on top of that. His paycheck was only for just under $80. Mine was for $277. We're used to each getting about $350-400, which still isn't a ton but it's enough to pay our bills.

That wasn't enough. Not by a long shot.

So now I'm working every single day that I can, and working extended shifts, and by the time I get off work I'm too exhausted to do homework so I'm way behind on that. I've got two major projects I'm supposed to be working on in addition to my daily homework and I'm just not keeping up. This is my last semester so the work load is pretty heavy, but I just can't concentrate on anything.

So now I'm applying for additional loans just so I can make bills and still afford to see my husband's family in December but I'm really worried about taking that time off school because my grades are already starting to suffer because of all the extra work I'm doing.

I'm just super overwhelmed and stressed and the last few days I wake up around 8 and just...roll over and go back to sleep until my body won't let me sleep anymore because I just dread everything and I'm so overwhelmed and I feel like I can't handle life. I don't have the energy for it. I'm drained. I'm doing more than I can handle and it's still not enough and I'm not handling it well at all.

This isn't to get pity, honestly. I just really, really need to get this off my chest. On some level I know this is temporary, I know I'll get through it no matter how hard it is, and things will all work out. And then when I graduate things will get a LOT better.

But I'm just so stressed about my situation and then I can't get myself out of bed for all the stress which is stupid because it only gives me less time to do the things that need to be done and I haven't even done ANY cleaning in my apartment for weeks so it's a mess and my roommate keeps having to do the dishes even though it isn't her turn and I'm sorry if this is TMI but I don't think I've even had sex since the semester started and UGH.

I really, really can't wait until I graduate. I can work full time, maybe even two jobs, actually be able to pay all my bills on time, and not have to worry about my academics suffering because of it.
September 30th, 2014 at 05:59pm