Domestic Violence.

I feel like I regret calling the cops because if I hadn't we would be ok. But I know that him beating me is not ok. 4 years and never did I think anything like this would happen. I'm sitting in our apartment alone with our son just hurting. But I know he does not feel bad. He blames me for him beating me. He is mad I stood up for myself. But when my 3 month old pouted his lip because he wanted his dad to carry him but he was being walked out in handcuffs... It broke me down. Why could we not just be happy? Or in bed like we should have? Or why can't he just help me with the baby when I ask him to. He only does when it is convenient for him. He said his sleep is more important. Why can't we just be a happy family???