Trust in Strangers

Usually, one would use their first blog as an introduction to themselves, who they are, what they enjoy, etc.

For me, I will have to get to that particular blog another day.

Today, I am using this blog -- my first blog on this site -- as a way to release the things I cannot discuss with my own family or friends, for in doing so, I will unleash the hounds from the deepest depths of Hell, and I will most likely never be trusted with this sort of thing ever again.

Yet, it's why I am telling all of you, mere strangers in my eyes, this very thing, because I do not know you, therefore, I will not feel guilty afterward for talking about this.

In recent months -- roughly two -- my brother had gotten divorced. I do not know the reason(s) behind why, but right now, I am not concerned about that. What concerns me is that his ex-wife has taken to Facebook (of course, right? The only place where drama seems to sprout up the most) about the years she was married to my brother.

In short (and by short I mean really, really short), she has going on about how my brother used religion to his advantage, telling her she misinterpreted certain bits of the Bible, or used different verses to get his way. She also went on to say that he verbally (and sometimes, physically) abused her in their own home, yet put on the Everything-Is-Fantastic smiles when around friends/family.

You see, growing up, my brother had been my hero. The musician, the one who didn't play lightly because I was girl, that sort of person. He treated me like one of the guys and I liked that because (later on down the road) I realized I do not enjoy being treated as this fragile person.

Yet, in the last nine years or so, that sort of bond the two of us had has basically faded away and now it's like we're strangers.

Here's the thing: I am seriously angry at the ex-wife (and her sister) for the things she spewed about my brother. How could this woman be so rude and make such claims about my oldest brother? First time I read through her multi-part (and still going) rant about her life with him, all I could think was: That's utterly unreal. My brother is not that kind of person at all.

As I've just stated, I am rather angry with her sister as well, due to her calling my brother things which I honestly believe is a load of crap. I know, I know, that's her (their?) opinion of him, but what makes me wonder is why she hasn't bothered hiding this rant from us (me, my mother, my sisters, other family). My aunt on my father's side even commented calling the ex a liar.

Now, on to the more confusing bit, which is causing me to share this here and not with those close to me.

How do I know that the things she's claiming isn't the truth?

As I said, I haven't been real close with my brother in about nine years, so I can't really be angry at the ex when I honestly do not know the man she married anymore. Can this man who is my blood truly be that man she is describing? Can he really be such a controlling, religious prick?

How can I defend my own family when I don't even know who I'm defending? 98% of myself is screaming: "He's your brother! She's the traitor! She's spreads falseness and is out of her mind!"

Yet, that remaining 2% is whispering: "Are you absolutely sure she's lying? Are you absolutely certain that he's who he's claiming to be?"

I do not want to give her the benefit of the doubt, yet I can't seem to break from the part of me that must know both sides to the story. I know one (or both) could lie about what went down, but if either tells the truth, which do I believe?

I don't want to give up on my brother, but at that same time, I don't want to put my faith in someone who I can't claim to know.