Sadness About Death | Poetry

If any of you read my thank-you blog yesterday, you might have noticed me mention that I made major changes to work that had been done for my story Twenty-one. This is my National Novel Writing Month story, and the idea is something I have been working with since 2012, which I've previously mentioned. There is a prologue, which is really just an updated version of the old summary that won't be included in my word count.

Anyways, it's in memory of a friend of mine. The only thing is, I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable with how much I am bothered by his suicide. When I was going through playlists made for previous versions of work with this idea yesterday I started crying. It was like I couldn't stop. Sure, I cried over a lot of things yesterday, but I started to notice that I almost always cry when it comes to this friend. I don't even always cry when it comes to my dead father or other dead family members. I don't get it.

His crazy ex and her best friend have even told me I feel too much when it comes to this. Maybe this is doubt because NaNoWriMo is getting closer, or... I don't know. I just wish I could understand why I'm so sad about it, nearly two years later.

I mean sometimes I still cry over songs that remind me of him, or when I remember old text messages. Sometimes I will be in class, or in a store, anywhere - and it's like the events of that day I found out, the funeral, everything; it's like it mists over what is happening in the current moment. I shit you not. One day I was sitting in class listening to my teacher and talking to my friend Joseph. All of a sudden I was seeing the funeral happen all over again. At the same time as seeing my friend right in front of me. Like an overlay screen from using two apps at once on that stupid Samsung phone or whatever.

Anyways, poetry.

This poem, which shares the same name as my story, was written earlier this year for a creative writing course I took with Cal Arts. We were told to write something that could fit on a post card. However short, however long. The piece had to take the reader to that moment. I even painted my post card.

And when I took it to class, one of the 40 something year old teachers almost cried. No one else showed up that day except a few other girls and maybe one guy. I was the only one with my piece. There was nothing to compare my work to except teacher examples, and the teacher almost cried.

I don't even know why I'm sharing this, because really I just want to share that I've written poetry and show it to you guys. Not give a lame back story or make myself more sad by thinking about it. I do hope that you guys will read it and tell me what you think or recommend it if you have friends here that enjoy poetry.

And oh!

I think I'm finally getting the hang of layouts. Of course, I used old layouts as a base and started tweaking them, and they aren't all that, but I think I'm finally getting it. And poetry layouts are really cool. That's why I even posted two of my poems here today.