Apologies

Now, my Boyfriend/Fiance and I have been dating for about 3 and a half years now. We've had our amazing moments (obviously).

There was one time when he came to visit me (he lives in maine, so we're in a LDR), and the last part of our day together we went to this pedestrian bridge, and just sat on a bench looking into each others eyes. It was something small, but it was heaven. That is probably my favorite moment of ours together.

Or that one time we had fought, and he was trying to cheer me up after. It had been like an hour when finally he started sending me the links to these torture dolls. They are called "Tortured Souls". Somehow, some way, they had put me in a better mood. Especially a certain one in particular. One of the action figures had some sort of metal hoop through her knee and I was just like "HOW? HOW DOES THAT WORK? THERE IS BONE THERE!"

But, we've also had extremely bad moments. Moments that, twice now, have almost torn us apart. I do love him, but, the past half a year I just.... It hasn't felt right. I almost felt like the only reason I was with him was because I knew nobody else would want me....

Tonight, however, randomly.... completely out of the blue... he said, "I'm sorry for all the times I've been an idiot to you." It was so random and unexpected. I told him it was fine, and then asked him why he was bringing it up all of a sudden, and he just said, "I'm just sorry for any pain I might have caused you."... I told him about how I've been a b!tch to him, too, before, and he explained that I've always had a logical reason for it when I am, unlike himself....

He's apologized to me before, but it's always been RIGHT after an argument, so I felt like it was more so that he was just trying to get me to forgive him sooner. Tonight it being so randomly, it just felt so much more heartfelt.

I've been feeling depressed the past couple of weeks, and this past week it got really bad. So, his apology meant the world to me. I don't know what will happen with us in the future, but for tonight I have that apology to get me by, and for now that's all I need.