They just don't understand, I know he's grieving but it's not my fault.

Okay, so my nana passed away last week. We went to the hospital and we were all basically waiting for her to pass away. She had a good life and it wasn't painful, but when I first heard I didn't cry, I just kept on as normal. My dad (whose mother it was) just thought it was inconsiderate and ridiculed me. Digging into me about how I just got money from them and didn't care. I am going to New Caledonia on a school trip and they are paying for me. I got a cheque a few days after she had her second stroke. So, 'I didn't care about them, it's okay, you have the money now, Eve'. Etc etc. I thought I was going to miss a whole day of school for the funeral, we had tests; school is important to me. I just asked my mum, non-implyingly, about the funeral, I said I didn't want to go. Because I didn't want to say goodbye and yeah. Well people don't understand that SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY THINGS THEY DON'T MEAN. I can't tell her anything. She immediately tells my dad, and she twists things. So, my dad also had this to use against me. 'You don't even want to go to your own nana's funeral, you're horrible...you're revolting.' Yeah, and I got sick of it and ended up having quite a few arguments with my parents, And playing a lot of My Chemical Romance really loud and then my mum confiscating my cds. I left half way through school to go to the funeral and when I was there I just bawled my freaking eyes out the whole time and I couldn't stop. I didn't see many other people cry like that, and no-one said anything but I felt that I was being way over-dramatic. I couldn't control it and I hadn't cried yet. My dad, surprisingly, didn't ridicule me for this, but I still felt bad. Okay, but to the point of this entry. Last night I finished Tandia; the sequel to The Power of One. I read quite a lot and it had taken me about a month to finish both of them, it was quite an epic. The ending was so perfectly tragic, I just cried. I t was just such an amzing story. I can't really describe it. It did end with death but I was more crying because it was over and how someone could come up with a story like that, and for the fact that it was a story because I had fallen in love with all the characters. So, I walked out of my room, crying, just having read the last words, and my dad sees me and says 'Your crying over a book'. He walks away, and with his back to me he says 'I can't believe it, God, you crying over a book, No, oh. You spent more time reading that book than with your nana, And your nana died.' Yeah, that's it. So I just lay in my room. trying not to be so sad over a book. But he doesn't understand, he just doesn't get it. I know he's grieving but that doesn't give him the right to make me feel like a bad (revolting) person.