Another Year Down

Wow, its so crazy to look back and see how my life has changed over the last few years. And everything really has changed.I don't even know where to start... I no longer live with Jonathan, he broke my heart. I had a gut feeling that I was pregnant around the beginning September and pretty much ignored it all, and everything was perfect between us. We both had great jobs(plus he was working on my families farm), we had just gotten him a car and no longer had to share mine, we were working on getting our own place and start our lives together. Come the end of September everything had changed. Jonathan was disappearing for days at a time. Not answering phone calls, from anyone, not even his family. He replied to me more than them. He stopped showing up to work making me cover his farm shifts, at about 4 months along. Then the worst day of my life, October 2nd, I was watching my best friend's daughter and I begin to bleed uncontrollably. I was rushed to the hospital, and sadly I miscarried my beautiful baby boy. I tried calling Jonathan the whole time, nothing. I was able to go home that night, and there he was. Acting like everything was just fine, until I broke the news. He was crushed. Yet, in that same conversation he told me he had slept with the women need been staying with. I was done. He moved out days later. I dealt with the loss of my son alone, while he played house with this new women with two sons of her own. He never lost anything while I lost everything. Since then I have moved out, and back on with my parents. He's still with her, we're all still pretty close(which I can not believe myself) and they seem happy, I love her boys with everything I have. I've done things I am not proud of. I've done things I never could have imagined I could ever do. I was going to go back to school, however, my Grandmother got very ill and I dropped out and quit my job to take care of her. Still being by her side, I've learned to trust again, although I almost feel as if I trust too easy, now. I have my own business, I've fallen in love a few times and I still love so very much and I'm okay with that. I have David, things aren't what you'd imagine with him, but he's perfect in so many ways. I love him to death, especially because of what he tells me at 3 in the morning. My illness came back, but Mikey promised and I trust in that, I can hopefully get discharged from the treatment center a few days before Christmas. My friends list is useless to me now. Only 2 maybe 3 people are here for good, and I'm okay with that. Friends come and go, I don't need anyone. I have myself and my family. That's all I'll ever need.