Pizza and the pregnant man. 43

Brendon's P.O.V.

"What?" Cali asked me laughing.

"I want Pizza Hut." I told her again calmly as she continued to laugh. "What is so funny?"

"We just had sex and now you're suddenly craving pizza?"

"Yes, sex makes me hungry. I still don't see the humor in this." I told her and she just continued laughing harder. "Stop fucking laughing!"

"Oh my god. You're having cravings and mood swings. Do you know what these means, Brend?" She asked me and I thought for a minute.

"Holy shit, you got me pregnant!" I yelled at her while my eyes went wide. "What did you do that for?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was going to happen. I didn't mean it." She said and I playfully rolled my eyes.

"Of course you didn't. Gosh, you fucking whore. What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. We'll work it out. But right now let's go get that Pizza Hut, it sounds really good."

"Okay fine. But you're gonna pay for impregnating me, Cali Mae." I told her and she glared at me.

"Don't call me that or I'm not gonna get you pizza." She told me and I shrugged.

"I can get the pizza by myself."

"Fine, then no sex for a week."

"I don't need your sex, you already got me pregnant."

"Whatever." She replied crossing her arms and turning the other way.

"Oh baby, don't be that way. You know I need your sex." I told her grabbing her arm and making her face me.

"More than Pizza Hut?"

"More than a deep-dish, crunchy, cheesy crust pizza." I told her and she smiled hugging me.

"Okay. Now come on, you're making me hungry." She told me grabbing my hand and pulling me up. We walked down the stairs and just as we reached the kitchen the phone rang. She pushed the button on the machine so it would answer on speaker phone.

"Hello, Urie residence. Home of the pregnant man, how can I help you today?" She asked into the phone.

"What?!" Was the reply of three voices over the phone. She laughed and I shook my head while I searched for the menu.

"Okay, to whom am I speaking to. Only one of you can talk at a time. We do not need to overwhelm him. He's already bitchy enough."

"Okay, are you trying to tell me my brother is pregnant?" I heard Kara's voice ask over the phone.

"Um yes."

"Won't your parents be proud." Another voice said and I recognized it to be Ryan's. There was a loud whacking sound and then a thud, followed by an "Ow". I shook my head and continued looking through the drawer, until I found an ad with a bunch of specials and coupons on it.

"Well, what do you want?" I asked into the phone as I walked towards Cali.

"Wow, I guess he is bitchy." Kara said.

"Yeah, he beats you by a landslide." Spencer told her and I could hear her scoff.

"No, I'm not bitchy, I'm just hungry. And we were about to order pizza, if it matters." I said.

"Not really." Ryan told me.

"Shut up, Ross." I said and then looked towards Cali. "What do you want?"

"We just thought we'd be nice and call you, since you two are being anti-social tonight." Ryan said.

"First off, I wasn't asking you. And second, we're not being anti-social, we want time to us." I told him.

"Whatever. So what are you guys doing?" Kara asked.

"We just told you, ordering pizza." I told her, looking at all the choices.

"And we just fucked in the closet." Cali said and I laughed.

"Okay, I didn't wanna know that." Kara said sounding disgusted.

"Neither did I." Spencer piped up as Ryan could just be heard laughing in the background, along with Pete. There was someone else laughing too, I just didn't recognize it.

"Who's laughing?" Cali asked.

"Ryan, Pete, and Andy." Spencer told us.

"Why, it's not funny? Pete and Ryan fucked in the guest room the other night too, and [i[I was the one who had to wash the sheets. You, my friends, are disgusting men who screw like jack rabbits." She said and I heard more laughter.

"Now that I didn't wanna hear." Another unknown voice said and I figured it had to be Pete's little sister.

"Oh, you've thought about it. I know it. My boyfriend's hot, you can't help yourself." Pete said and then I could hear both she and Ryan yell at him.

"Well, as much as love sharing bedtime stories with all of you, we need to call the pizza place and put our order in before they close. So I'll talk to you weirdo's later." I said and waited for their replies before hanging up.

"So what are we getting?" Cali asked me and I told her what I wanted. We both agreed on a large, deep dish pizza with a cheese crust with mushrooms, black olives, and banana peppers, with pepperoni on one half. I called in the order and was told it would be about a half hour. I hung up the phone and looked to Cali who was sitting bored on her stool staring off into space.

"Did you find a little green alien?" I asked her and she looked at me like I was retarded.

"Excuse me?" She asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know, you were staring off into space, so I figured you found an alien friend." I told her and she still stared at me weird.


"Okay, whatever." I said getting up and walking into the living room. I sat down on the couch and turned on the t.v., only to be joined a minute later by Cali who snuggled herself up underneath my arm. I looked through the recordings to see if we had anything interesting in there. I stopped when I found the video for Fall Out Boy's 'A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More Touch Me'.

"Why did you record this?" I asked Cali and she shrugged.

"Because I love you." She said.

"That didn't make sense." I told her.

"How doesn't it?"

"I'm not even in Fall Out Boy. And your recording their videos because you love me?"

"No, I recorded this video because you're in it."

"Okay?" I told her looking down through more of them. I stopped and looked at her again when I came to 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies'.

"I missed you." Was her reply when I looked down at her.

"Okay, so what about 'But It's Better If You Do'?"

"You look hot in that video."

"And 'Lying'?"

"I was bored and I wanted to hear your voice."

"You get bored a lot don't you?" I asked her.

"Yes. That's because my life is dull and useless without you." She said giving me a kiss.

"Aw, I love you too." I told her and she laughed. I kissed her scrunched-up nose and she giggled again.

"Are you going to be gone all next week too?" She asked me running her fingers through my dark hair.

"Not all of it. We're going in Monday and Tuesday, and then we got Wednesday off. Pete, Patrick, and the rest of FOB have a Halloween party to go to and they're taking us. So I figured you'd wanna come to that. And then we have to go in Thursday, but nothing on Friday." I told her and she nodded.

"When is this album supposed to be out again?"

"In, like, March." I told her and she just nodded again. "Okay?"

"Yupp. I just miss you during the day."

"I know, I miss you too." I said wrapping my arm around her and holding her hand in mine. She stared down at our connected hands, fingers entwined together and sighed.

"Can you believe it's been almost six months?"

"For what?"

"Since we started dating. It hasn't even felt like a day yet." She said.

"I know. I'm so glad Ryan convinced me to call you that night."

"Do you think you would have if it wasn't for Ryan?"

"I don't know. I guess I was so afraid of you rejecting me I kind of shied away from the factor. But I'm so glad I did, who knows where we would be if I didn't."

"I probably wouldn't still be here." She said softly, but I shushed her.

"Don't say that. What's important is that we are together and we're happy. I love you so much, Cali."

"I love you, too, Brendon." She said and we kissed softly. But at that moment the doorbell rang. I got up and grabbed the money from the table and went over to answer the door, but as I was about to turn it Cali stopped me.

"Bren, don't open the door!" She said and I looked at her confused.

"Why? Don't you want you're pizza?"

"Yeah, but you can't just open the door naked." She told me and I looked down to see what she was talking about.

September 26th, 2007 at 10:59am