Through the Years

So I created this page about 5 years ago and have not been active for 2 years. Through recent curiosity I have decided to delve back in and read all of my old creations and it was so heart warming. I have a piece of my innocence on this page. Before all of the issues and before life it's refreshing to know that I was naive. How my view on relationships was and how I thought I would react to certain situations (I was completely wrong). It's amazing to see how strong of a person I believed I was going to be. It's amazing how I never thought a boy would break me. At 13 years old I would've never thought a boy would break me! Even if he was Nick Jonas (My Jonas Brother obsession was pretty heavy back then). At 19 I sit in my room completely torn down at my breaking point and this little piece of my innocence just saved my sanity. If a 13, 14, 15 year old me didn't give a shit about a boy then he should the adult 19 year old me care ? I'm so happy I have this to reference to. It brings back the memories of simpler times. When I didn't have to write 15 page essays, or agree to a 7 day schedule at work for the extra cash. It reminds me that I had all of this extra time to dream. When I wasn't forced to have a realistic dream. I was allowed to believe I was going to marry Nick Jonas, and if it didn't work out it was okay because that just meant we weren't meant to be. I want that back. I don't want to know the feeling of heart break. I don't want to know what love really feels like, I don't want to know that alcohol takes away the pain. That it's better to not speak. I want to not know what my life will be like. I want to have to beg my mom to let me stay out a 15 minutes past 9 because my neighbor just got Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on dvd. I want my old house my old friends my old hopes back. Growing up sucks. I wish I would've cherished it.