Ranting out Loud

Okay, so sometimes I just need to type exactly what I'm feeling and thinking. My brain kind of gets jumbled. You know?
So first.
My job. This week has been a rough ride.
Every week I have a check-in with my editor, online editor and publisher. I usually get a little intimated by my publisher, and this week was no different. So, back to the check-in. Every week we discuss our best stories and worst stories online, because page views are very important.
But first, let me rewind, I work for a daily newspaper that covers three counties in New Jersey. I cover a couple of very small towns, and a couple large municipalities. But it's been a dry week, not a lot of juicy news. So, as you can imagine, my page views were bad.
So after a rough meeting, I just feel down.
I need a vacation, work has mentally, physically and emotionally drained me.
Second.
Being an adult sucks, not always, but when it comes to paying bills it does. Living on your own is so expensive. And I don't even live alone, I live with my boyfriend, who makes life so much easier.
Seriously, if it weren't for him, I'd have a panic attack at least once a month.
(Sorry for being cliche.)
Third.
Christmas is coming. I love Christmas. I love getting my family presents, I love wrapping and I love decorating. Everything about Christmas makes me happy. Except....my wallet. I love seeing the smile on people's faces when they get gifts, and it pains me to think how much presents cost and how I can't get everyone on my list just what they deserve.
Fourth.
Back to the boyfriend. We've been together for four years, which isn't a long time for some people, but for us it is. We've lived together for two years now, and we've had the talk about taking the next step. I know his family has talked to him about it, and I've talked with them.
I'm just ready.
He says there is a way he wants to ask me, but I'm too impatient to wait and see when that day will be.
Sigh. Surprises kind of kill me.
I think I am going to start blogging more and ranting, even if no one reads it. I can at least get my words into the written form.
For those of you that have read this, thank you for letting me vent. I really appreciate it!