I'm back after a tiny study break. Probably failed at least one exam but I'll deal with that later.
Anyway. This is something I was supposed to write aaaages ago but then my old friends study and no time and hating life came around and just wouldn't leave. This is for Katie's Blog Game, which was a brilliant idea.
So here goes. Second try. no but really I can't write what first came to mind because there legit is a ghost in this house
I'm sure I'm not alone in this. I sorta have to believe that because, well, if I am then I'm probably a bit insane. Or obsessed. Or both. Well I'm definitely obsessed I mean I paid £45 for a book signed personally to me from this man and the first thing I'm gonna do is smell it.
But sometimes, usually late at night when I'm down or just pining for a life that isn't real in anyone's world, then I'll talk to someone that isn't there. Sometimes out loud, quietly might I add. Someone real, but this version of him is real only to me. Because I know these kinds of people appear one way in an interview/on stage/through their lyrics, but in "real life", they are their own person. And they're bound to be different.
But this one, this version of this perfect person in my mind - he's mine. No one can take that from me, not even him. I think even if I did one day meet him, or like, catch a glimpse of him in his private life, and he was completely different to the construct in my head... I'd still imagine him the exact same way. Why? Dunno. I'm sure there's a philosophical reason as to why our brains do stupid things.
He could punch a small animal and he'd still be the one I'd talk to at night; this ghost of a personality I keep stored in my head for those lonesome nights.
I can't remember anyone else sticking around for as long as he has. There's been a few, but very short-lived. I've always been more comfortable around him. He understands better - or rather, it's easier to imprint the other side of my thoughts onto him. Or something like that.
And really, more than anything in the world, I just want to feel one day that someone understands. That someone gets it. That someone is there with me, completely.