Oops I'm Rambling.

It's been 3 years, I think, since I visited this site.

That's really fucking weird to me. It's like I always knew I had an account on this site, but I couldn't remember the name of the actual site until I was Googling something and it happened to be in the results.

To be honest, as much as I used to love reading and still kind of do, I have no ability to write whatsoever. Words don't come naturally to me, albeit grammar does. Always proofread and get someone else to also proofread. Shit man, no one wants to read something that makes the "your / you're" mistake or the "their / they're / there" mistake.

My vocabulary mostly comes from watching some scumlord egghead ramble on about video games for 30 minutes when I watch a let's play. While that probably sounds really strange to be learning vocab from a YouTube video about video games of all places, the only YouTuber I religiously watch has these strange, rambling tangents that encompass weird facts about his life and things that I find interesting--while also being swathed in overly frivolous language for no god damn reason. I blame Fred Durst and the Binding of Isaac, man.

Since my last encounter with this site, I have gotten into university. Back then I didn't know what I wanted to do, I mostly hoped for a chance to work on video games. Those dreams have faltered and crashed like fucked up programs that I haven't thoroughly tested and debugged. While I can say that I do have a chance of working on video games, for I now am a computer science student, I will say that I do not WANT to be a computer science student. I've decided to look deeper inside of myself and grasp that love of art that I always had. Animation is my (fox only, no items) final destination.

And so begins the long and arduous quest to get into my dream animation school (Sheridan; Calarts and Ringaling are fine too but Sheridan offers me the best location as well as the best tuition).

On another note, because of my hopes I obtained a fancy shmancy new laptop that can handle 3d animation as well as 2d animation. It's got a pretty high resolution and lemme tell you--I understand why some people say fonts are too small now. I feel like an old granny sometimes (my back is terrible too; it adds more to the theory that I am actually a grandpa).

A more personal issue I dealt with was my own gender identity as well. There is so much to explore and, while I am still relatively young, I will go with how I feel and have decided to remain genderfluid. There is no shame in admitting that you don't want to be staked down to one gender or the other (there is no "other" option on Mibba; I am somewhat disappointed in this as I cannot decide if I want to choose female or male. Sticking with female since I registered as female). Sometimes I want to be seen as male--I want to be masculine, and I want to prove I am manlier than you. But sometimes, I am feminine. I want to wear heels and do my makeup very fancy and be pretty and soft. And even other times, I am in between--I don't want to be one gender or the other because I am perfectly comfortable in between.

Man do I ramble.

I think it's fun to ramble off into tangential stories. If someone's actually interested in your stories, then it makes it even more enjoyable. I always keep my stories in the back of my memory and they're always itching to burst out at any moment. They're not the stuff of legends--no, I did not save a baby from a burning building or win the lottery. But, they're interesting to me all the same. I love other people's stories too--why else would I be on here?

I think about the past a lot. What would be different in the past if anything had changed? What happened to people I used to know?

I don't think I'll ever find out the answer to the latter. It's too embarrassing to think about my past anyways.

Anyways, I think I've rambled to no one in particular enough. It's 4am and I am a creature of the night. Sometime later I think I'll work on pixel art animations. I'm feeling particularly inspired by syosa and cocefi.

PS: Why is Pinterest getting more popular amongst my Facebook friends recently? I think 5 have joined in the past month and I keep getting notifications for it. I don't even use Pinterest anymore, and I hardly even go on Facebook.