I Need a Hug

The title pretty much says it all but allow me to elaborate.

I've been really stressed out lately trying to find a job. I've been looking for months and everywhere I've looked or applied to so far, it hasn't worked out. Some places aren't hiring and for the most part (because of not being able to drive) I've had to apply online which has failed everytime I've done it. I'm either not qualified enough for a job or I don't pass their little pre-assessment test thing.

My mom has been pressuring me a lot more lately about finding a job and it's frustrating because not only am I trying, but she's been talking about getting a second job which to be honest is the last thing she needs. I know we need the money and everything, but she has high blood pressure and takes meds for it so how would getting a second job be any better for that?

I've been out of school for 3 years and my sister has been out for barely a year and already has her first job at her college. I'm not taking any classes at all part of the reason being we can't afford for both me and my sister to both go but even so, everything good seems to happen to my sister and she barely has to try. Everytime I'm even remotely positive about anything or work really hard to achieve something, I just end up getting my spirit crushed and things blow up in my face. I just feel like a complete failure and I hate it.

Aside from the job thing, I've just been really lonely lately. I miss my friends. I know there are some I talk to on here, through facebook, or that I text almost every day, but they all live either in another state nowhere near me, or in another country altogether. Since I can't drive, I can't go out and do much of anything so I'm always stuck in my house. Sure I have my pets and my mom, but it's not the same and honestly, when I've tried to spend time with her lately she either doesn't seem interested in what I have to say, she changes the subject, or she flat out just ignores me because she's too busy on her phone playing games. Or if she does pay attention, she always has something negative to say even if I'm trying to look on the bright side of things (and that's been really hard for me lately.) I've been trying to be more positive in general about things but how can I be when I'm surrounded by negativity and left alone with my thoughts?

Sorry about my depressing blog. I just needed to get this out because where my thoughts were heading, it wasn't all that good. Anyways if you made it through this entire thing. Thank you for listening (or I guess reading)