Trigger Warning

I miss cutting.
I mean,

I still do. But on my hips.
I specifically miss how it feels to cut across my wrists. That was always my favorite. It feels different than on my hips or legs or shoulders.
I can't because I have a job as a waitress
I can't wear all the bracelets
And my family would notice if I wore wristbands or long sleeves all the time.
They're invasive like that.
It's my body and it helps. It makes me feel better even if it's not just for a little while.
When no one is around to listen, I etch my story onto myself. If it keeps me alive, what's just one more time?

Even if I've been cutting myself for the last time since before I got this page, four years ago. Maybe it's time to accept this is who I am and I don't want to stop.
I want to open my wrists the way I can't open up to others.