December 15, 2014

It's been almost 3 years since my first and last blog entry on here. My life has been consumed with college and relationships, some negative and I haven't had much time to actually write to my hearts content and feel good enough about it to post anything on here.

I was in an unhealthy relationship for almost 3 years that I ended earlier this year in April. It wasn't the best of relationships. The guy I was with was emotionally manipulative and emotionally abusive. He was also abusive when it came to sex. He would guilt me into have sex with him and that was wrong of him to do, and it is rape by coercion. I didn't really have friends when I was with him and he would get jealous and possessive when I went to hang out with the few friends that I did have. But I am out of that relationship now and I am moving on.

I am focusing on college first, my mental health second, and my friends third. College is okay, could always be better grade wise and people in my classes could be better but I am loving the Fine Arts major and I plan on sticking with it.

My mental health has been a roller coaster of emotions the past few years. I had picked up cutting again and I got to the point that I wanted to kill myself 2 years ago. When I got to that point I sought out help and started seeing a therapist. I've been with my current therapist for just under 2 years. The first one I saw didn't really get to the point of me being there and that wasn't helping, so I found a different one.

My friends are all wonderful people. They're all different and wonderful in their own ways. And I can trust them, I could feel it when I first met them. I met my best friend one year ago and the rest of my friends I met this semester.

Now that I am on winter break I hope to start writing again. Maybe even finishing a couple stories. Maybe even starting over with a story, rewriting what I've already posted and continuing from there.