I am fairly certain that my depression is starting to break through again, which is highly discouraging. I thought that it was all under control now, but I suppose that was all wishful thinking.
I am trying to hold on though. Through the holidays, and whatnot. I always loved the holidays, and I am trying to hold on to that, though it's extremely hard for me right now. I'm dreading Christmas Eve because of my aunt. She expects us all to come over, but my mom said that my family is definitely not going after the other day, see here for what I mean by "what happened the other day" and she said I definitely should not go by myself.
I wasn't really planing on it, anyway. My boyfriend's family does Christmas Eve, and then he comes over on Christmas Day. We have done it this way for three years, and I wasn't going to let the fact that my aunt suddenly wants to get to know me now get in the way of that.
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I also think that this mood cropping up is due to the fact that it has been a really rough year for the boyfriend and I. It has been really hard to just talk, and he revealed a lot of stuff to me this year that bothered him that he never thought to mention before.
So, of course, I got very upset by all of it.
But, that's neither here nor there. We're trying to work through everything, but we're also at that awkward point of making the first moves, so that makes the every day talking kind of awkward.
I'm confident that we'll either be okay together or be okay letting go, in the end.
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That aside, I really do appreciate all of you here on Mibba. You've been so patient with me and these slow-going recc blogs. You've also been super patient with me and my updates as well.
You've all been fantastic, and I hope you are all doing great today!