2014: A Reflection

Anyone else confused as hell as to how it's 2015 already? Time is flying by too quickly. A New Year, means a new start. It's a time to reflect on what's gone by, and to learn from it.

2014. For me, it was year of changes, self reflection and, to be frank, a lot of ups and downs.

The year started badly. I got a tooth infection the 2nd of January, which took 3 sets of antibiotics to clear up.

I was depressed. My skin had (temporarily) cleared up, but living at home in an environment that could be toxic at times, and struggling with the choices I had made in my early 20s took its toll. On top of my brother's suicide attempt towards the end of 2013, and continuing struggles with addiction in the beginning of the year, life was tough.

I struggled to break into a new field, career wise. I wanted a job with more financial gain, I wanted to go back to college.

The first half of 2014, in short, was shit.

The second half though, well, it picked it.

My brother finally got clean, and is now almost 1 year sober.

I got a new job. While I went back into working with kids, the break I took had made me look at what I wanted. And, in doing so, I found that I still wanted to make a difference in the lives of the future generation. I also found a course I want to do. I may not be able to do it this year, but I know I'll
get there, even if it takes time.

I moved back to the city, and even though I'm broke half the time, it's the best thing I did. I get to see my friends now, and I no longer feel so isolated.

I also met someone, something I didn't expect. I was happy being alone, genuinely. I finally, for the first time, was content with who I was. He's not perfect, and I still get moments of doubt of insecurity, but, so far, things are going good. It's a learning curve, as I try to control my instinctive insecure, defensive reactions to stuff that shouldn't bother me. I got used to being selfish, and not having to learn another persons ways and weaknesses; I forgot that I have my own faults and weaknesses, and that sometimes I overreact, and that my view of a person's actions isn't what their intention was.

I also got a prescription for meds to clear my skin, which I shall begin to take on Monday!

So, now it's 2015. And, like a lot of people, I have certain goals of things I would like to achieve this year.

I want to cut out sweets and take outs for a while.

I want to take my health more seriously, and start exercising in some way. I think I'll buy a bike and cycle to work.

I want to start seriously learning how to drive. Maybe buy a car if I can afford it.

I want to finally start planning opening my own preschool. I need to find out how to go about it, what I need to do, how I can practically go about it.

I want to go back to college this September, of possible. Financially, it mightn't happen, but I hope it will. If not, I will make sure it happens in 2016.

I want to try and be a better person, and think more before I react to things.

I want to stop stressing about things, be more proactive and do something to change situations that stress me out.

Mostly though, I just want to be happy in myself. I want to try and do more with myself, and not let things slip by me. I need to take charge of my own future, starting now.

What are your resolutions?