Father

It will soon be 7 years since I last saw my father. The last time I saw him was in this chicken restaurant. He told me pretty nasty things that night. He told me how I wasn't the girl he wanted me to be. He said how being with me was annoying him and how we would prefer to stay home where he could get drunk and smoke. The last words he spoke to me were: Your loss

I was 13 at that time. I was 13 when I took the decision that I would be better without him. It wasn't the first time that he acted like a jerk towards. I have so many childhood memories where I remember him making me cry or embarassing me. But I never spoke a word and let him do whatever he wanted to do. But the words he spoke that night turned out to be the straw that broke the camel's back. I was sick of suffering because of him. I was sick of feeling like I wasn't worth it.

For years, I've been asking myself what wasn't good enough about me. If my own father could not love me the way I was, who would? I felt broken and empty. But sometimes, you need to take hard decisions. They might cause you pain but in the end, they will be for the best. I wished my father had understood my point of view. I wished that he would called be to apologize...or just to say hi. But he never did. I bet he was never thinking about me, that he was happy that I was finally out of his life.

Spent 7 years wishing that you'd drop the line. But I buried the thought along with you in my mind.

I may have cried myself to sleep so many nights because of you, but not anymore. My future will be bright, and you won't be part of it. Your loss