I hate to use the word depression, but sometimes I feel that this is where I'm at. I still find myself unable to write (and therefore am almost regretting saying that Crash Into Me is making a comeback), I'm not all that interested in hanging out with friends (which works well, since my best friend just moved interstate), and often I feel like doing nothing more than curling up and crying.
It's a horrible feeling, but it's the truth - and I felt better once I had truly admitted it to myself.
These feelings even went as far as to put a stop to my wanting to go to shows. Ever since my first concert at sixteen, I can't remember going more than six months without attending another. As I sit here now, it has been just over a year since my last - the Avenged Sevenfold show where I had photo pit access and essentially lived one of my dreams. So while it has sustained me, it hasn't kept me from missing shows forever.
Here in Australia, it's Soundwave seasons - and that means great shows.
I didn't buy tickets to anything, and then about three weeks ago I got the serious urge to dive back into live music. The band that I wanted to see most from the Soundwave line-up is Papa Roach (who haven't been to Australia in twelve years!) and so I was constantly keeping an eye out for when they were playing. Naturally, they were announced to play Sydney on the Sunday (when I work) and they weren't doing any sideshows in Sydney. It upset me for a while, but then I got over it. I decided I didn't want to do any other sidewaves, either.
When my urge came back three weeks ago I still didn't act, but I made myself a promise: if by some crazy miracle I ended up with the Sunday off, I would fork out the $140 for a one-day ticket and go to Soundwave. Then I left it in fate's hands, expecting to be disappointed.
Fate decided that I'm supposed to see Papa Roach.
On Tuesday, another of my day's off, I got called into work. The other manager was sick, and I was the only one who could cover for her. Since I did, she offered to do my Sunday - having no idea that I had been hoping for it off all along. I couldn't believe my luck.
I bought my ticket that very afternoon.
Since then, I have already been feeling better. It's like I'm going back to being my old self again - wanting to go to shows, actually taking my camera out on occasion. I'm hoping my ability to write follows, but I'm not pushing my luck at this point.
Has fate ever given you a surprise like this?
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