To Be or Not to Be?

Suicide is always a thought someone has whether or not they are a depressed person. I remember my junior English teacher told the class once:

"Depression isn't always about being sad. Sometimes it is a random thought that runs though your mind. I remember when I was younger, about your guys' age and I was driving down the road in my truck and I thought 'I wonder if anyone would care if I just drove off the road right now and died.' I wasn't sad, but it was a momentary thought of death. It was one of the most terrifying moments in my life. And I can't imagine those of you who think about things like that every day. It breaks my heart."

He was speaking to the class as a whole because he had this Q&A box. You could ask him anything and he would try to help you out the most that he could.

I thought to myself today after seeing how many kids are depressed out there, and I thought:

"I used to be just like you. Every day walking in your shoes. Whether or not to jump into traffic and never wake up again or drown in my bath tub." I've thought of just about every single way to die and yet I'm still here.

Most people who think about death, they think about how it ends everything. No more pain. No more tears. No more hurt.

The one thing they never think about though is how it can never get better, or how you would never see another breath taking sunrise. You'll never get to meet that special someone you're meant to be with. You'll never get to meet the wonderful family your destined to have. Never get to hold your daughter's hand on the first day of kindergarten. Never get to see your sister be with her first love. Never be able to get the new game that just came out. Never get the chance to make someone else smile, or have that next best piece of chocolate. You'll never get to experience triumph and greatness. You'll never get to say "I love you." or hug your best friend when they need you. You would never get to see your partner on your wedding day and see how amazing it is to have someone who loves you so much willing to spend the rest of their life with you. Never have another birthday and have everyone smile at you because of how amazing you've grown. You would never be able to graduate and say "I made it." You would never get the chance to stand up to your bullies and watch them back down. Never get to see the world. Never get to be what you want to become. Never go to college. Never meet new and exciting people.

All of these things are things in your life you would miss out on if you cut your life short.

Your life matters. And if you don't think for a second that someone out there doesn't love you, you're wrong.

Because I do.