"Something worthwhile that isn't silly spam. I put effort into this journal." or "On Scary Children"

I just finished my second week of work on Friday. It's not the first job I've had, actually. I once worked at Soak City in Buena Park, across from Knott's Berry Farm. What an absolute nightmare that was. I don't think I lasted more than two weeks actually, seeing as I got the job in the last weeks of school and then worked like, a day during the summer (This was the summer of '05) and BAM, I was out. I would show up at 9:30 AM, open up the park and my special little section that I worked at, the lockers, and spent the day renting out lockers to people that didn't understand the concept of a "key deposit". I remember a new girl joining me on my second-to-last day, where I figured I would do whatever I wanted. I specifically recall a bunch of 9 year old or so brats hanging out on the counter, dripping water all over my key list as if I had forgotten that they were able to have fun in the water and I wasn't.

"How much do you make?" the girl asked.
"$80 an hour," I responded, as I held a cheap plastic pufferfish squirt gun in my hand. It was filled up.
"Can I see that?" the girl then asked.
After that, I put the toy in her face and squeezed, spraying water-fountain water on her face and into her eyes as she stumbled back from the counter she had worked so hard to jump onto. It was hilarious.

So not having a job this past summer was fantastic; I did whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Yet, I needed money. Bad. So about two weeks ago I approached Jim, a scruffy sort of nice guy in his early 20's about a job at my old school. He had worked in Daycare when I attended the school almost 10 years ago. Not that he worked there when I was in 2nd grade though, more around when I was in 6th grade or so. He's always been a nice guy; nowadays he's quite the responsible young man. He approaches kids' parents and introduces himself, he pays attention to all the kids and doesn't favor any of them, he's a really neat guy.

So like I said, I approached him about a position in daycare, and to my surprise, I got the job.

Now, when I went to tell others about this newly acquired position, I got a lot of funny looks and, "You? With children?" comments. I was sort of insulted. I don't think many people expected me to last very long at this job.

It hasn't been very long at all, seeing as my third week starts on Monday, but I sort of enjoy this job. I'm not much of a "kid" person in the sense that I dislike them when they shout and yell and kick and scream and constantly yell my name and bite each other and storm off with bratty attitudes and grab onto me, but some of them are really great. I've definitely got a couple of kids that make me want to punch a baby seal, but there are also a few that really make me smile. They're all very energetic and after the initial evil glares and questions about why I replaced their favorite daycare worker and comments such as, "You're ugly" and "Your hair makes you look like a girl", most of them really warmed up to me. One of them supposedly has a crush on me, actually. I have that effect with pre-middle school girls, and that makes me sort of uncomfortable. Anyways, yeah. I enjoy this job. Kids are hilarious and some of them are really cool.

And then there's one.

I'm not gonna say his name, but I'm not sure if I'm gonna remember that. He's a good boy. He's in first grade. He has a strange dark scar underneath his lips that reach down to the bottom of his chin, as if maybe he had surgery or got hit by something. His eyes are big and dark and he expresses himself with exaggerated mouth movements, especially when he's happy. For example, he laughs with a wide mouth, and glares with tight shut lips when upset. His shaved head doesn't suit him.

"Ricky, you know what? I like you. I don't know why, but I like you," he said to me on Thursday. After he said this, he handed me two folder pieces of paper, one of them with a picture of me and a frog and I can't remember the other.

I've watched the kid when he plays. He runs around without any sort of fatigue at all and plays rough, like a real boy. Yet, this is where I start to notice what worries me about him.

He's got this "friend" named...well he's got a friend. They both tease each other like guy friends do all the time, except this certain boy responds with a comeback and throws his hands at his "friend" and chokes him. When I say choke him, I mean he really squeezes. I had to pull him off the friend.

Another scary example.

I can't let him play any sort of football. Regardless of if it's flag or "don't touch anybody at all" football, he jumps at them and like forces their face into the ground. I had to put him on time-out after he scraped a kid's chin into the ground. I asked him why he did it, and he didn't really say anything. He just did it.

The scariest thing happened on Friday. He walked up to me before Daycare started and had another folded note for me.

"Don't show anybody," he said.

I walked into the bathroom and opened it. There was a drawing of a gun and a clock. I had no idea what it meant. I started to think back on all of the things he's said to other children and to me about other children, and I started to freak out.

"I'm gonna sock his face!"
"I'll choke him!"
"I'm gonna shoot you!"

Now, maybe I'm just looking into it too much. I mean, when I was a first grader, those words meant nothing. It was just a silly way of talking to your friend. But at the same time, I thought about when I talked alone with the boy about his constant choking of his friend.

"I can't control my temper. When he talks I wanna hit him over and over."

I don't know what to think.