I Don't Want a Relationship!

I would like to meet a guy that for once doesn't push a relationship on me. I want to meet a guy where he doesn't flirt with me and just acts like a friend. Every guy I talk to online that lives close to me, tries and pushes a relationship on me. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to be like the people I went to school with. They're married and have kids. I never wanted anything like that. Ever. I don't want the picket fence and manicured lawns. I want to live in a city and get lost it in. I want to raise animals than kids. I want to live in a city and not worry about if the school district is awesome.

But whenever I talk to a guy, they push the relationship and it freaks me out. No matter how much I tell them that I don't want one, they push a relationship. I've got relationship issues. I know this. I watched my mom get her heart destroyed by my father and that scares me. They always say you marry a guy like your father and the fucking scares me. That's a big reason why I don't want a relationship. But guys don't understand. They always say that they're not like that. But I can't just get rid of my 10 plus years worth of fear in a second. Be my friend first. Be there for me and if something more comes out of it, awesome. But if not I'm not going to sweat it.

Why is it so hard to understand? I want to work on me before I settle down. I want to work and pay off student loans and live a little. And I would love if I had friends to do that with, not a boyfriend.