Yesterday was my grandmother’s 74th birthday, and my family got together to spend the day with her, take her out to lunch, and just hang out at her apartment to chat. My mom, of course, took pictures, and posted them on Facebook–where, much to my annoyance, a coworker of my mother’s that I have literally never met or talked to commented asking me (since I was tagged in the picture) if I was “working on making [my] mom a grandma yet.”
…What?
What makes you think it’s okay to ask a complete stranger whether they are ready to start a family or trying to conceive? Completely unprompted? Through someone else’s Facebook page? Who told you that was appropriate?
And the sad thing is, this isn’t the first time this has happened. About once a month or so since I got married (a couple weeks short of a year ago), a distant relative or family friend that I barely, if at all, know has has taken it upon themselves to ask me, out of the blue and with no suggestion of the discussion on my part, whether I’m working on starting a family yet.
Even when I first got engaged, my coworkers–even the ones I’d never talked to much–would ask me at every available opportunity whether I was pregnant.
Look, if I’m pregnant, I’ll shout it from the rooftops. If I’m trying to get pregnant, I will tell you, if I want you to know. If you don’t know me and have never had a conversation with me? Do not ask me personal questions about my life. It’s fucking rude and uncomfortable. Why is that so hard to understand? And then if I dignify their question with an answer (which is, no, we’re not quite ready to start a family yet), they seem disappointed, as if this is a personal affront to them, or start trying to give me reasons as to why I should.
Christ, it’s like ever since I got engaged, and even more ever since I got married, people think I’m a damn baby factory and they think it’s okay to pressure me about my personal life regarding pregnancy and family. Just back the hell off already.
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