The Anthem // I Need Hugs

April 27, 2015 was the day my best friend/sister went to boot camp for the marines. It's April 29, 2-15 and I'm so sad. I miss my best friend. We talked every day for 6 years. From the time we were in the beginning years of high school to now. And it's such a hard adjustment because it's hard not having her there.

I have like 3 best friends. They're, Richy, and Halle. So It's really depressing not being able to talk to one of them because then my life feels out of balance. I miss her yall. I wish these next three months would just fly by because she's my best friend and I really miss her.

But I guess it's better to look at the bright side and see the good in it. It's just hard right now.

I'm also changing. Not like my personality or anything, but my body image. I'm going to lose some weight, and actually start to feel really, really bitching awesome about myself. A lot of people always tell me that I'm really pretty and stuff and I appreciate it soooo much. Y'all are the literal bomb.com. I just need to feel like I'm the literal bomb.com on the inside. I hope it helps because I want to be able to actually keep a pregnancy.

Me and hubbyman found out we were pregnant in January. I was pregnant for a 13 weeks and two days. I woke up one morning and I started feeling cramps. Then I started bleeding. I had a miscarriage. And It was horrible as hell. It was heartbreaking, and I'm still trying to out why. The only thing I can think of is my weight. My gyno told I'm not infertile and I know for a fact that hubbyman is not infertile either, so that's the only thing I can actually think about.

I know, it's a lot and I'm jumping from subject to subject but I haven't gotten to talk to anyone in a while. I'm so upset, about everything.

I just wanna cuddle. And be told it's going to be okay. That's what my best friend does, but she's not here. My best friend Richy is going through some stuff, but I completely understand and always am there for Richy. I LOVE YOU RICHY

And halle is doing finals week so bleh.

I NEED HUGS.