I Am So Sad

It's 1am and I've been crying for the past hour . The worst part is that I woke later on and I hate my job . The reason I'm crying is because my ex is sleeping next to me he shows up 2 hours ago and he doesn't even want to talk he falls asleep after he just has sex. With me . I feel so stupid and people have told me and over Nd over again that I should stop talking to him and seeing him but when I do he keeps showing up back in my life . He cheated he left me for another girl then leaves her almost a year later and puts me through hell I've been so stressed it's been a year and he isn't changing . He said he isn't ready to he serious but yet he still wants me around he said he doesn't love me but one day he will . I miss work for him he doesn't come he never wants to talk just sex. He manipulates me and I keep letting him. I feel so sad I haven't cried this much since the day he left me . I made mistakes in the past but that isn't me anymore but he can't let go of it he can't forgive he can't love me anymore like before.i do so much for him he doesn't appreciate me he doesn't respect me and when I try moving on he comes around and how am I supposed to move on when he says he gets sad that I don't talk to him . He talks to other girls who knows if he sees any. I don't trust him anymore I loved him so much I wasn't perfect and I made a mistake but I did everything for him I supported him I loved him I waited a year until he was ready to he my bf and then he breaks me . I can't keep living like this I can't I'm sad and I want to die I don't like how I feel I miss work because I'm sad but I can't miss anymore . I'm a good person I can loose this job I miss for him he doesn't care I hate that I ever got involved with guys . How do I stay happy . When will this go away . I have no one to talk to Nd I'm emotionally falling apart .