Trust

Trust is a very delicate thing. To some people trust is the most important thing you can have, for if there isn't trust there isn't really any meaningful and lasting relationships. If someone laughs when you say trust is important to you *red flag red flag* they aren’t trustworthy. People who value trust highly and have a very difficult time trusting people (I should know it took me a little over a year to fully trust my first boyfriend and blood family? Nope. Not one bit) can sometimes be quite difficult to deal with, but don't worry if you play your cards right you'll have no problem with us.

I have a very tough time with trust because of people close to me whom I've trusted and almost every time it has backfired. My family (blood related) are pretty much strangers to me and I to them. Whenever I'd trust them with something serious they either get angry at me or make fun of me. I've had people I love portray themselves as people their not and then everything just goes up in flames. So people wonder why we have trust problems? Usually there’s a pretty good reason. And sadly most of the time it’s because we’ve had our trust vainly broken by someone we thought loved us.

Most people (sorry but this is usually the truth) don’t have too much of a problem with people generally because those relationships are shallow so there’s not much trust required. You talk shallowly with them maybe about how your day was (you don't go into details if it’s been bad just say it wasn't horrible) or how their classes that semester are going or how their life’s been. No trust needed for that. This makes up most of my relationships.

We are not fragile people. We’ve actually become very strong because we decide to say screw trusting other people with things and deal with all of it by ourselves. This can make us very strong and very frustrating to other people when they want to know what is wrong and we won’t tell them. Just be patient with us. Don't go behind our backs and try to find out, we won’t be pleased with that. Prove that we can trust you by just being calm and patient with us, always. Be inconsistent and you haven’t done much good for yourself in the department of proving you’re trustworthy.

Saying that however, there are people you'll find you can trust, however small amount. Honestly, the smaller your trusted group is the better. Having a smaller group means that when you are going through something tough you won’t have several people asking you what’s wrong. These people are people you can feel there is something about that makes them trustable to you. We’re all drawn towards someone, or some kind of person and most typically its people who are like us. Some we trust the moment we lay eyes on them and some we have to take the leap past our fear of trusting and having our trust broken to realize they can be trusted. In my experience usually this is either an adult (choose carefully adults can be horribly difficult to trust because some may want to always keep an eye on or check up on you) or people just a little bit older than you. These people have the power to change you (in a good way). I've trusted two adults so far and they haven't backfired. In fact I’m very grateful to them. For those of you who struggle, I pray you find people like these, there the adults who have been through it before so they'll say exactly what they would've wanted to hear when they went through it, they'll stay calm when you seriously talk to them, and honestly, they can have the power to save your life.