Life Is OK

This week marked the end of exams, I felt my two dodgy subjects, economics and law both went really well... However Consumer Behaviour was very tricky, almost everyone I knew came out of that exam feeling the same way about it as I did, not great!
If all goes well then I will pass and head on into 3rd year, I still have to pinch myself sometimes because someone like me whos come from the area I have... to be where I am now its just crazy, I keep progressing financially, educationally, it just isnt stopping, I dont know when it will stop, hopefully never.

What next?
Well I pray for a placement, soon.... Ideally this week, then I can sack my job off and enjoy summer with my friends and my dad, who is no longer a spring chicken! Ive been away from him for too long and I pray that I can get a placement so I can enjoy one final summer without any work or worries, because thats what this summer is. A placement would be great, if I didnt get a placement then it would be the same old university as this year, and thats not what I want, I want to be out there getting solid experience and meeting new people.
Jamie, James and myself are off to Magaluf in 3 weeks time, that is something I really am looking forward to, I cant wait to just get away from this place and enjoy my time in the sun with good food and good alcohol with my closest friends. Myself being mr organised has booked everything, I booked the holiday, the flights, the car parking, the taxis, Ive done it all, and fair play to the boys theyve paid me already, so happy days.
This holiday has the potential to be the best holiday ever, apart from maybe next summer when there are plans with Jack to travel around the US and Canada for a couple of months.

Girls, not quite sure where to begin...
Im seeing one, shes really really really pretty but I dunno, Im scared, Im so so so scared of getting close to another girl because of what the last one did to me... I have to be 1000000% sure in my mind and heart that whoever my next girlfriend is will be the right one and the right choice, she also has to be absolutely stunning because I dont go for anything less than. My mind is always thinking about one or another, sleeping with her or her, kissing her or her, I dunno, at the moment im taking things as they come, this girl Im seeing at the moment Im not sure, I dunno, something is missing, its got nothing to do with her, its just my mind isnt right for a relationship because in my mind I dont deserve to be happy, I dont remember what its like to be properly happy after what happened to me around christmas. We shall see.

Friends
I have so many, all of them are so close, some more than others. I cant really praise them enough because theyre always there for me and they will never argue and I love them and they love me. Im getting to that stage after a relationship where Im just so sexed up, I feel it, and I feel that the majority of girls are attracted to me because for the first time in ages I feel confident in my looks, people are giving me compliments again saying Im hot and that Im really good looking, its weird because ive never taken compliments about my looks well, most of my female friends I want to sleep with though, so time will tell if that ever happens, its fun right?

Alcohol
The least said the better, the other night I drank 6 pints of beer and 750ml of Vodka before going into paramount and having a few more before apparently all of us lads got kicked out, somehow I made it back to my friends flat? I honestly have no recollection of anything, I hardly remember leaving the flat, thats how bad it is, I dont remember A THING. Ive never been so drunk and so out of control and for the first time ever I am very very angry at myself for letting it get to that stage. I also managed to wake up with a black eye, I think I fell over on the walk home? For the life of me I cant remember, I honestly have no idea, but I know I didnt get into a fight otherwise somebody would have seen it and told me. You moron Jake.
In comparison to my friends though I drink like a fish, its bad, I get most of it from my Dad who was in two comas from Alcohol, safe to say I would never get that bad, I still love a drink. I drink for the pleasure, a good beer, ale, or cider is enjoyable, its so nice to just sit with mates having a drink, not many people I know drink for pleasure. I drink strong spirits like vodka and gin to get drunk though, because lets be honest, nobody enjoys drinking them.
I see myself in my dad slowly more and more as I grow up, mainly with the girls and the sex life, now with the alcohol and aswell with the gymwork, its weird, but luckily for me Im a mix of my dad and my mum and its the best mix I could ever have wished for, because they are both incredible.

Gymwork
Always been a serious part of my life, when my mind is at ease and there are no real stress issues like relationship worries in my life then my gymwork is better than ever. Physically I am in such good shape, now until Magaluf I wont be drinking much and I will be eating well, training hard, so fingers crossed I have a good shape to my body by then so I can show it off in the sun... One thing I do admit and I do like to do is show myself off whenever I get the chance, Ive been training for about 4-5 years so naturally by now I have a good body, whenever I get the chance I take my top off and it usually gets some attention which is nice.

Bring on Magaluf, and fingers crossed for the summer, because after summer is when my life and my ambition will start to become a huge reality.