Highschool: A Summary

In retrospect, I am no longer a high school student.

I'm technically a college student now. I've registered and set me schedule and everything. I've finished my high school classes and I've taken my finals. I hope I score high on them, but it doesn't matter. I'm gonna graduate regardless.

Either way, it's done. All I have now is a prom, a legacy day, and a liturgy to go to before I can walk across that stage and get what I've cried, sweat, and bled for.

Obviously there will be practices in between, but it's all over.

And I've learned a few things.

Nothing defines you. Nothing. And don't ever say something will, cause it'll dampen your opportunity to grow. Who you are as a naive 14 year old will not be the same you as a frightened 17/18 year old. (Yes, frightened. This transition, even though I don't show it, kinda scares me shitless)

Also, who you start with won't be who you end with. Or at least they won't be around the entire journey. If they do, then you're a lucky one and hold that person tight. Cause people can come and go. Some people just drift apart. Doesn't mean you stop caring for one another, there's just a distance. Some people don't go as easily and there could be confrontation. Take it with stride.

Things happen. You change. You discover things about yourself. You find out that you like girls and you get a crush on your friend. Then you discover you also really like guys and that gender means nothing to you. Maybe it means everything to you and what's in your pants doesn't match how you feel in your head. Or maybe you find out you don't like anyone or anything and just want to be left the fuck alone. It'll happen. Just know that you're strong.

People are dumb. You will meet people who are dumb as shit and loud as fuck. They may try to drag you down. But mind this, they're probably already below you. So chin up and carry on. And learn to bit your tongue and choose your battles wisely.

I don't know, maybe I'm just talking to be talking, but it's just howI feel about high school.

All I know is, that I'm 18 now. Who I was at 14 is not who I am now. And who I am now is not who I will be when I'm 21 and I get my BA at UAlbany in Psychology.

I'm just happy it's summer now. And I'm happy that I can start writing the way I want to again.

I just don't know if I can do it here.

Maybe I've gotten too old. Maybe things have changed. But I just don't feel welcomed here anymore. In fact, I feel like I've become like an antagonist on here. Being here frustrates me.

But at the same time, I like it here. Probably because I've seen the change in myself on here.

Which may be why I have to let it go.

The site is dying and I kinda feel too 'big' mentally to be here.

But it's like if not here, then where?

If anything it'd be a side blog on tumblr.

Probably.

Most likely.

Oh well.