It's So Hard Being Friends...

It's so hard being friends with people who don't have a lot of serious shit going on in their lives when you do.

I know that sounds dickish, and maybe it is. But right now I'm dealing with my father-in-law dying, and the fact that the only way we can visit him would be to sacrifice our ability to pay rent and electric next month, and the fact that I'm trying to prepare to move this summer so my husband can start school and I still don't have a job or a new place, and I've got some drama going on in my family that I'm struggling to figure out how to handle...

...and my friend, as much as I love him, has literally talked about nothing but the video game he's playing for literally the last forty minutes, and I'm over here like, I'm sorry but I just don't care right now.

Forty. Minutes. Like, that is the prominent thought on his mind, by far. A video game. Meanwhile I'm sitting here trying to manage severe depression and anxiety and a life full of drastic changes, many of which are heartbreaking, and trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to make it through the rest of this year without completely losing myself and everything else. I don't have the mental capacity to care about trivial things right now. I'm working my ass off just to be this miserable, and this friend just...does whatever he feels like because he doesn't have the same constraints that I do, and then he talks about all this stuff he's doing and all these games he's playing and books he's reading, and I'm just like, that's great and I'm glad you're happy but I've just got too much important shit going on to really care about it right now.

And I don't know how to have a conversation with him because I'm literally just responding with one word answers to paragraphs of his text and I don't have anything to say about it but this is what he wants to talk about so I guess this is what he's talking about and I'll just sit here feeling obligated to say something and having nothing to say because I'm too goddamn stressed to think about proper social interactions about trivial things.

Maybe I'm just an asshole.